Splitting at the Seams
by Cacoethic
Summary: Sakura has become a master in the art of self-destruction. Upon being discovered, she meets someone similar, who pushes his way into her heart and teaches her to trust again. AU, Eating Disorder
1. I Know All Your Tricks

Sakura Haruno crinkled her nose at the girl in the mirror. The design was straight out of Hollywood, a dressing room mirror with lights framing her reflection- but she felt far from a star. She stripped, trying to smile at her reflection as her shirt came off. It was useless though, as her face was a window into her soul (which was more or less crushed presently). The only thing in the bathroom aside from the essentials was a picture, golden-framed with exclamations of "FRIENDS" all around the frame. Ino had spent 20 minutes prepping them both for that picture, although the only people who'd ever see it were Sakura and herself.

The pink-haired girl started to smirk, but even as the corners of her mouth turned up she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She'd been looking for her fatal flaw in the mirror. Something she'd overlooked before- her massive forehead? Maybe her skin was too dry in the winter, or her breath was too foul when she first woke up. He'd never mentioned something being wrong with her, but it was obvious from the look he'd had in his eyes. Sasuke's dark eyes, wide with shock, as she walked in on him and her best friend.

It was hard at first, going from "us" to "me". But it helped that she didn't talk much anymore, that she didn't go out much anymore. She never did much but mope, really. When her hands moved to the picture, propped up in the corner by the sink, she had intended to simply set it face-down. She really didn't mean to pick it up and throw it at her reflection, shattering the glass which then flew towards her. It was only after she threw up her hands to protect her face and was greeted with unspeakable pain that Sakura realized what she'd done.

There was blood, all over her floor and her sink and her body, source unknown. She laughed, fully aware of how stupid she'd been- maybe that was her fatal flaw. She lazily bandaged herself, cleaning the shards of her mirror off the bathroom floor. Crouched on the bathroom floor, picking up the pieces of something she could never dream of fixing, Sakura finally allowed herself to cry.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_"Sakura, this is definitely not what it looks like." Ino gasped, grabbing her shirt to cover herself as she pried Sasuke's lips off her neck. Sasuke looked up with his mouth agape, full of excuses and explanations and other bullshit. Ino already had her pants on, and was running her hand through her blonde hair, grasping for words. _

_"I just felt this connection with him, I've liked him since we were kids, you know, and he said you two weren't getting along, I didn't know how to tell you because I know you-"_

_"Love him?" Sakura choked out, standing in the doorway to her apartment. "Well that's alright Ino, you always do get what you want don't you?" she cooed softly, placing the groceries on the kitchen counter. Sasuke had come out of his trance and immediately pulled on clothes, breathing audibly louder. __His hair stuck out in all the wrong places, and his eyes were soft as opposed to their usual sharpness. He began to plead, pushing Ino away from him in twisted hopes of redemption. Sakura simply closed her eyes and pointed to the door, unable to speak anymore. They both gathered their things, with the black-haired boy lingering in the doorway._

_"Is this it, then?" he spat out, speaking more to the floor than to Sakura. "You're going to end three years over this?" Sakura nodded, turning to meet his eyes. She smiled weakly, refusing to speak. "Guess I really fucked up," he whispered before the door slammed shut in his face._

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Sakura worked as a secretary for a prestigious company. Sabaku Inc. had its roots in both law and medicine, though they also owned several factories and were essentially filthy rich. The family was evidently rather messed up after the death of the Sabaku sibling's mother. But Sakura didn't care much about their or anyone else's personal problems- she had opted out of university to work and support Sasuke, who was in-between jobs ever since he was old enough to have one. She regretted the decision immensely, but it didn't make a difference- her parents had nowhere near enough money to send her to medical school anyway. All her regrets swam around in her head, getting worse every night (or so it seemed).

Sakura had first thrown up intentionally at the tender age of 12. She learned quickly that those who threw up were sent home regardless of their temperature or symptoms. And, while she loved school, she'd occasionally forget assignments or need to escape a friend she'd had an argument with… or sometimes she was genuinely sick. Either way, Sakura was a professional, and had certainly perfected her technique in the 6 years since her humble beginnings.

It started out as a release. Her thoughts would get too loud, analyzing her imperfections and contemplating suicide, that the only way to stop them would be to dispose of them. She hadn't used her technique since Junior year, over a year before the 'Sasuke incident', as she referred to it inside her fragile mind. But it was easy enough to start again- her body seemed to welcome the break in monotony.

She ate once a day, allowing herself a small meal at night, when she couldn't take it anymore. But once the food went down, it was doomed to come back up. She'd hunch over the toilet, silence clawing at her ears, hoping this time, the release would work permanently. But it never did, and Sakura always went back to that cursed room where the mirror was still shattered, its pieces neatly piled by the sink. She got an amazing rush every time she entered the room, blood rushing to her fingers and legs and head- leaving them once she disposed of her demons in the porcelain bowl.

She had it down to a flawless routine. Work all day, go home and work out for lunch, work more, and then return home. She ate most nights at first, which she was terribly ashamed of. Her fatal flaw, she told herself, her weakness. She had no resolve. Ino had resolve, obviously. She was the one fucking Sakura's boyfriend that day, after all. Just thinking about this was usually enough to make her ill. As time went on, she discovered she could last even longer without food.

There were nights when she felt too tired to do anything. Some mornings, she couldn't get out of bed. She would phone in sick, highly apologetic, receiving sympathy from her boss who knew she worked terribly hard. In fact, she likely worked harder than most people employed by Sabaku Medical- working took her mind off of eating. Her mind was almost always on eating or working, though it occasionally drifted to Sasuke, or Ino.

She still had one good friend, however: a yellow-haired, loud-mouthed young man who had gotten her a job in the first place. Naruto Uzumaki was good friends with Gaara, the son of the owner of Sabaku Inc. and all of its branches. It's often said that it doesn't matter what you know, but who you know- this proved very true for Sakura. She was accepted for the job immediately after her first interview, although she had no prior experience as a secretary, nor a university degree. Gaara was the only Sabaku sibling that she had seen more than glimpses of. She'd been introduced to him on several occasions (Naruto was forgetful, and she must have met Gaara 'for the first time' at least 3 times so far).

Naruto may have noticed her changing, but he tried not to interfere. Known for her sometimes explosive rage, most people left Sakura to herself. After the break up, Naruto had been very supportive. But one can only help someone who refuses to help themself for so long. It was only when Sakura grew tired of sneaking to the bathroom after eating out with him and began to outright reject his invites for ramen that he grew suspicious.

She had hid her slowly-changing form under oversized clothes. Secretaries didn't have a very strict dress code, so she was able to easily trick people into believing nothing had changed. Her wrists had grown thinner- she only wore long sleeves now. Her skirts often reached to her ankles. It grew difficult as summer came and went, but she was typically cold anyway. Hiding had become an art form for Sakura Haruno.

So when Naruto called her to ask if she wanted to get ramen with Gaara and him one evening, she didn't suppose her rejection would be alarming. Naruto had no reason to be suspicious, she reasoned, as she had not appeared to change physically at all after the break-up. She was feeling weak that evening, more weak than usual. In an attempt to stave off hunger pains, she had chewed through an entire pack of gum. Thirty calories, she told herself- thirty calories she did not need. She was exceptionally proud of herself, however, having eaten nothing else in the past 32 hours and 15 minutes.

She hadn't acted like anything was different on the phone, and even as she hung up, she pretended not to hear Naruto declare that they were coming over._ I should clean up_, she told herself. But there was nothing much to clean up. The only signs that someone inhabited her small apartment were the shards of her mirror, stacked neatly near the bathroom sink, and the crumpled up sheets on her bed.

It was actually by chance that her body chose that moment to give in, as her stomach began to claw at her insides, and her brain promptly replied. The hunger pains were beginning to make her sick, and she hated throwing up bile more than anything. Rising from the sofa she'd been lying on in silence, she realized that she was rather dizzy. Dizzy spells were common- ever since she started losing weight (which had been happening for quite some time,) she'd sometimes feel dizzy and have to sit down for a while before it passed. This time was different, though, as she sat down and it didn't pass.

_Maybe I should eat_, she thought, ashamed and yet horribly tempted by the thought. She stood up cautiously, fearing a fall like she'd experienced a few night ago. She walked to the pantry, which contained only a box of cereal. Sakura's mind, being unable to decide between eating and not, was forced into action by her body. She didn't hear the knock at the door as her world began to grow darker. A loud voice calling her name fell on deaf ears, and certainly the sound of her hitting the floor would have drowned out Naruto's desperate voice anyway.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! This is my first Naruto fic in... years. I'm still getting used to all the fanfiction features, etc. The formatting is driving me a bit batty, to be honest. But I'm finally satisfied... I think. Let me know if you have any input, thanks! :)<p> 


	2. Eating You Alive

When Sakura Haruno woke up in a white room smelling of antiseptic and scrubs, she hoped she was dreaming. There was no calendar present, and she observed the window several feet from where she was laying was blocked by yellow curtains covered with some sort of plastic. In an attempt to wake herself up, she tried raising her arms to pinch herself. Her arms were not responding- or, they were, but they weren't doing as she said. Snapping her eyes to her sides she noticed, with pure terror, that she had been put in restraints. Her eyes traced the outline of her thin wrists, now exposed in her short-sleeve hospital gown. She had a blanket pulled up to her neckline, but her arms were attached to the bed by straps- they had been taken out of the blanket after it had been placed on her in order to tie her down.

It took brief moments before the struggle began. She shook back and forth, realizing her legs were bound as well. She debated screaming- did she want attention, or did she want to escape? But her escape efforts proved to be absolutely useless. So she kicked her legs in the limited range of her restraints and tried to pound her fists on the hospital bed. The restraints were an insult- she wasn't dangerous to herself, nor to others. The very idea of someone judging her to be so dangerous that she should be tied down was infuriating.

"Not enjoying yourself?" came a voice from across the room. The curtain which she assumed should have been drawn in front of her was drawn back, bundled against the wall to her right. She spotted the blond-haired boy immediately- how had she missed him before? He was leaning against a wall, although there were two chairs next to him. With his eyes pointed down, it was difficult for Sakura to ascertain his mood. She tried to speak, but her throat was scratchy and dry. Clearing her throat garnered his attention, in the worst way. He looked up with pale blue eyes, and it became apparent that he had been crying. Unsure of what to do, Sakura bit her lip.

"It's okay," Naruto spoke, his voice sounding much stronger than he looked. "You're alright," he said again, more as a question than a statement. Sakura nodded to this, unsure of how much he knew. Now that he was looking up, she could feel his eyes fall on her wrists. She was embarrassed- her body was a secret which she kept from the world, and Naruto was unwittingly crossing a boundary by simply looking. When he noticed her eyes were boring into his own, Naruto plopped into the chair he had previously been ignoring. He put his head in his hands and she could barely hear him mumble, "I had no idea."

"What happened?" Sakura finally spoke softly, her voice cracking.

"I'd like to know the same thing," Naruto sighed, sitting up almost as quickly as he'd sat down. He began to pace rapidly, his eyebrows knitting together in a perplexed fashion. "How long?" he asked, his own voice mimicking Sakura's in how breakable he sounded. Sakura only stared, unsure of how to reply. How long? She couldn't remember- there was no start or finish for her, it was only Sakura. For all she knew, this had been her forever. "I mean, you broke up in May, right? And it's only just October now..." he was struggling to be logical, struggling to remember all the details of the messy breakup.

"It was April," Sakura heard herself say, "a week after my birthday." Naruto stopped pacing and looked straight at her. He looked directly at _her_, not her tiny arms or her heaving chest- straight into her eyes, which had to have been near-tears at that point.

"We came over to check on you. You sounded sick on the phone," Naruto explained, pacing once more to avoid the look of pain in Sakura's eyes. "You wouldn't answer the door. We heard some banging around, and I got really nervous. You've been acting weird, you know?" Sakura's mouth was open, trying desperately to remember. She'd been on the couch- had she talked to Naruto on the phone? Her mind was blank- no matter how hard she tried, no memories returned to her.

"Well, you have been. I thought you were just upset about… Sasuke," Naruto continued, saying Sasuke's name as delicately as possible. "But it's been so long, I figured you would at least be able to go out with us- and you don't dislike Gaara, do you? I thought so at first, but you don't say yes no matter who I go with so I figured that maybe there was something wrong, like you were sick, and I was worried about you because we're friends, right, and…" Naruto trailed off, realizing he was rambling. Sakura's mouth had closed now. Though her head had been previously raised to face Naruto, she had grown tired and was now staring at the ceiling, her head barely propped up by the hospital-issued pillows.

"We sort of… I sort of… I may have panicked," Naruto was tentative now, he seemed embarrassed. "I broke down the door to your apartment," he said quietly. Sakura elicited no reaction- she was far too tired now, too tired to think about what had happened. Had it not been for the blond's rather loud and intrusive voice, she might have fallen asleep. "I walked inside first, Gaara waited at the door. He wasn't going to come inside, but I saw you crumpled on the floor and I called him in. I had no idea…" he trailed off again. It seemed as though he was going to stop, but Sakura had no such luck. She was cringing mentally- not only had Naruto seen her, but the son of the man who _owned the company she worked at _had seen her, in all her disgusting glory.

Naruto, who had slowed his pacing, now began stepping more and more quickly, his voice raising as he reflected on what he'd seen. "God damn it, Sakura. If I knew what you'd been doing, I would have helped you- do you know that? I mean, I'm not just some guy who relies on you and stuff. You should confide in me too!" he was practically yelling now. He walked up to Sakura, standing over the hospital bed. "Can't you even look at me? You could have _died_, Sakura. He's not worth it! You're perfect! You're beautiful!" he was definitely shouting now. Sakura looked away pointedly, facing the window before closing her eyes. Light flooded around the edges, glowing yellow from the plastic curtain. "Damn it. Damn it! Just look at me," he begged.

"Everything alright in here?" a cheery voice exclaimed from the doorway. Sakura feigned sleep, hearing Naruto slowly back away. His reply was rough, wild, full of emotion- _Just fine, thanks. _"Visiting hours are ending now," she heard the nurse tell Naruto. He promised to be back before the echo of his footsteps retreating allowed Sakura to open her eyes and breathe regularly. Through the course of the drama, she'd nearly forgotten the restraints on her wrists and legs. _Back to square one_, she thought quietly. She chanced a glance at the door, and noticed the nurse who had checked on them once Naruto had grown too loud was still standing there. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a tight bun on top of her head, and she appeared to be in her late 20s.

"Anything I can do to help, dear?" she asked calmly, her voice pleasant and reassuring. Sakura sat up as best she could. She couldn't bring herself to hate this woman, who was in the same position she'd dreamed of since she was a child. Nursing was her dream job, though she'd never be able to afford the years of schooling. Having already dealt with quite enough trauma for one day, Sakura found herself shaking her head, _no, there's nothing you can do_, and succumbing to her body's desire for sleep.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

She awoke to noise all around her. The hustle and bustle of daily hospital life surrounded her room, and she realized that, having woken up and fallen asleep in the same room twice, she certainly couldn't be dreaming. If it was a dream, she would see Naruto occupying the space across from her bed as he had previously, preparing to make her relive everything. She'd seen movies and read stories about people trapped in dreams who kept reliving the same thing over and over again. Chancing a glance to the yellow chairs sitting side-by-side, she was relieved to see no Naruto.

Not that she resented his company, but being forced to hear him break down again might break her. She was certainly in a weakened state- when was the last time she'd eaten? As if on cue, a nurse poked her head in the door. It was a different nurse from last time- the one before was blonde, with a dainty smile on her face at all times. This one was just as cheery, of course, but didn't seem quite as fake as the last- and her hair was pitch black. She also looked to be in her mid-40s, with a more knowledgeable look on her face than the previous nurse. "Hungry?" she heard the nurse say.

Sakura stared blankly at her in reply. The nurse carried a clip-board with her, which she looked down at upon Sakura's reaction. A knowing look came over her. "The restraints," she explained without prompting, "are for people who are known to self-harm."

"I've never cu-" Sakura began angrily, but the nurse hurriedly raised a finger to her lips. "Of course you didn't, dear. But refusing to eat is self-harm, love," her words were chiding, but her tone was disarming. Sakura bristled nonetheless- so many people knew her, knew all about her after a period of what she assumed was less than 24 hours.

"I'm Ami," the nurse again offered without waiting for the question to be asked. "And it's lunch time. Since you're an adult, we're not going to force-feed you… assuming you can eat by yourself. The food here is pretty mild; it shouldn't be offensive at all. Do you have any favorite foods?" the last question was added as an afterthought. Sakura's mind went into overdrive, realizing she likely _would_ be forced to eat before she was released.

"I'm not refusing anything," Sakura began, her brain eagerly working out excuse after excuse. "I'll definitely eat. I've just been too busy with work lately to eat. I don't have a problem or anything you might be thinking. Bring me anything, I'll eat it." She finished airily, her voice dripping self-assurance as she masked panic lurking just below the surface. Ami simply smiled in response- "Of course, dear. I'll be back in a flash."

Sakura breathed deeply, her mind running through a thousand excuses she could give and get away with. But the nurse would obviously see through her bullshit- she was trained for this sort of thing. Her stomach, which had been dormant for the duration of her hospital stay so far, began to come alive. She could feel how empty she was, how drained her reserves were- she had begun to wear away. Her mask had vanished, and she was left bare and alone.

When Ami reappeared, she held a plastic plate with something which resembled peas, turkey, and jello. Sakura's nose crinkled involuntarily- she had by no means lived the high life those few nights she cooked dinner, but this was not her idea of appetizing. Ami walked over to Sakura's left side and pulled out a tray. Setting the plate on the tray, she put the food on Sakura's lap. A plastic spoon, fork, and knife glared at Sakura from the tray on her empty belly. Without a word, Ami undid her wrist restraints and moved to undo her ankles, as well.

"It's okay when I'm in here with you," she explained as she fumbled with the plastic. Sakura sat wordlessly, staring at the small plate of food. The realization of what she'd have to do dawned on her at last. Ami continued to explain, her calming voice falling on near-deaf ears. "Once we've got come food in you, you can probably check out. Of course, I'll be monitoring you nonstop for the next 5 or so hours," she added, looking at Sakura in a way the pink-haired girl couldn't interpret. "But if you're a good girl then we can't keep you too long. This is your first offense after all." The word "offense" made Sakura bristle once more. She'd done nothing wrong- she hoped this little _visit _would remain a secret from all but herself, Naruto, and Gaara, but knowing Naruto… the whole city would know by the time she checked out.

Sakura picked up the spoon carefully, deciding to start with the peas first. Her mind was already working to determine how and when she could throw them up- and, if not, how many calories she'd have to punish herself for in workouts later. The first scoop didn't go down easily. Her throat was dry, and she usually had trouble eating after she'd gone awhile without food. "What time is it?" Sakura asked, hoping to distract Ami, though she was unsure what purpose it would serve.

"Around 11 AM," Ami remarked, raising an eyebrow at the question. "Did you have somewhere you needed to be?" _Excellent_, Sakura schemed, _a chance for escape_.

"Actually, yes. I had plans to hang out with some friends at noon… is it possible I could be _released_ after eating?" she lied casually, knowing the only person she could have had plans with today was the man who'd walked out angrily on her before she succumbed to sleep the night before. Ami shook her head wearily. "There's no way I could do that," she explained. "I could lose my job. You've got to stay here for several hours after eating so we can monitor you." Sakura groaned, but it would do no good. "I know there's nothing wrong with you," Ami smiled. "But we've got to be careful- people with eating disorders can be rather crafty."

It was now Sakura's turn to smile, though not for the reasons Ami would have guessed. This conversation caused Sakura to plunge into her peas, eating several bites in quick succession. Her stomach growled, revitalized by the first bite. Once the peas were finished, Sakura moved on to tackle the jello. It was an interesting shade of green- so neon that it appeared to be glowing. Likely lime, Sakura guessed. Eating the jello was easy- it slid down her throat without any resistance.

She had saved the turkey for last, which was a poor decision on her part. It would be the most difficult. Ami had gotten her two generous slices- way more than Sakura could let herself eat. "I'm full," she declared, pushing the meat away from her. Ami looked incredulous, her eyes raised in disbelief.

"You have to eat it all," she sighed. "It's not that much. If you want to wait awhile, that's fine. But it's no good cold." Sakura stuck her tongue out. "I'm a vegetarian," she said smugly, confident she'd trumped the black-haired nurse.

"That jello wasn't vegetarian, Sakura." Ami challenged. _Fuck_. Sakura had been beaten. Letting out a quiet sigh, Sakura fell back onto her pillows. "Just give me a few minutes," she grumbled. Ami said nothing in response, but Sakura heard her shifting in the chair across from her. Minutes passed, and neither party said a word. Ami hadn't left, and Sakura heard her stomach churning its contents hungrily. She had eaten enough to fulfill her damn requirements- an anorexic person wouldn't have touched the plate. Sakura sat up again bitterly, making eye contact with Ami.

She cut the turkey up into immeasurably small pieces. Then she began to eat. The entire time, Sakura's green eyes bored into Ami's black ones. When the deed was done, Sakura set her fork and knife down triumphantly. "I'd like to use the restroom now," she declared. Ami took the tray from her lap and smiled. "Certainly. I'll be right back."

When Ami returned, she gestured for Sakura to come to the door. The young girl slowly moved her legs to the right side of the bed. Throwing off the sheet, she set her feet on the floor, which was absolutely freezing. "I brought you some socks," Ami informed her, seconds after she recoiled from the ice-cold floor. Ami came over and knelt down, putting the blue and white socks on Sakura's feet.

"I can do that," Sakura said quickly, lowering her own arms to pull the socks on. "Just point me to the bathroom." Ami moved back to the door, and Sakura followed, steadying herself on the railing by her bed. Once her legs became accustomed to her weight, she followed Ami to the doorway. Ami pointed to a small door, down on the right. Sakura began to walk as briskly as she could, eager to lock the door behind her and be done with it. Ami's footsteps echoed behind her, easily keeping pace with the malnourished teen. When Ami opened the door for her, Sakura thanked her loudly and tried to pull it shut behind her.

"Ah ah ah," Ami hummed. "Can't let you go in alone. Sorry," she said apologetically, noticing Sakura's downcast look. "It's required."

When Sakura finished, she washed her hands and walked out with Ami. There was no getting rid of this meal. The thought of it, sitting in her stomach, sent her brain into turmoil. But there was nothing to be done about it, and the only thing one can do in hopeless situations is wait for them to end. She came back to the room and threw herself on the bed, staring at the ceiling in hopes of passing time more quickly.

It was only when she heard a knock on the open door that she lowered her eyes from the ceiling and glanced to the right. The blonde-haired nurse from before stood in the doorway, cheery as ever, looking in Sakura's direction. "You've got a visitor; shall I send him in?"

"What's his name?" Sakura asked, curious who would be visiting her- Naruto was probably still too pissed to come back.

"Gaara," the young nurse replied. "His last name's Sabaku! I asked if he was related to Sabaku Inc., but he just sort of… looked at me." Sakura's eyes widened. She looked to Ami, then down at her twig-like arms and legs. She pulled the sheet from the bottom of the bed and placed it on top of her, concealing all but her face from unwanted looks.

"Sure," Sakura sighed. "Let him in."

* * *

><p>Chapter 2, whoo-hoo! I fear I ramble too much. I just have so much to say, so many details to add. So sue me, right? I like this story, hope you all do to! :) Critiques are always welcome.<p> 


	3. Sick Sick Sick

The room was silent. Gaara's steps were muted, padding towards Sakura lightly on the linoleum floor. She did her best to appear fine, whatever that looked like. She had yet to catch a glimpse of herself- the bathroom lacked a mirror, something she'd grown accustomed too after her own had been… shattered. She considering smoothing her hair back to look more presentable, but doing so would reveal her arms. Above everything, Sakura feared him seeing her- she feared anyone seeing her.

He wasn't saying anything. She peered over the sheets to verify she wasn't imagining his light footsteps. Ami was rising from her chair quietly. Surprisingly, Sakura was sad to see her go. Though the old hag was condescending and made her feel self-conscious, she found herself more capable of being _fake_ in her presence.

Sakura watched Ami exit, but not before the black-haired nurse gave Gaara a respectful nod. It was only now that Sakura's eyes drifted to him, the young man whose family paid her salary. She was overwhelmingly curious as to why he'd be visiting her, but feared being disrespectful by questioning him. So she said nothing, daring to make eye contact with her superior only every so often.

"I hate hospitals," the red-head declared. Sakura's eyebrows rose so far up they would have disappeared, had her forehead not been so massive. Before she knew it, her hands had flown to her face to suppress a giggle. It was Gaara's turn to look surprised.

However, he was instantly distracted by something. _Damnit_, Sakura swore inwardly, _my stupid fucking body_. Gaara had the courtesy to avert his eyes quickly as she scurried to cover herself up again after her movements had thrust off the sheets. He cleared his throat and began again.

"But Naruto asked me to come apologize for him. I know we're effectively strangers, but Naruto cares deeply for you, which I respect. So… that's it," he finished awkwardly.

"Thank you," Sakura whispered, staring down at her sheets. When she looked up, the red-head's back was already facing her as he headed for the door. _Not even a goodbye. Asshole! _Sakura grimaced at the rudeness of the boy with dark-rimmed eyes. _He probably thinks he's SO much better than me. _Gaara reappeared at the door before she could revel in the _obvious _truth of her statement.

"You should really come get ramen with us sometime," he stated bluntly. "It would mean a lot to Naruto. Later."

After the words passed his lips, he turned around and once more left the room. Ami drifted in after he had been gone for several minutes. The pair reverted back to the same state they'd been pre-visit: constant silence.

It seemed like an eternity before Ami spoke. "How are you feeling?" she asked politely. _Like shit_, Sakura thought. The events of the day had made her angry, and she noticed her anger was now spilling into her thoughts. Thankfully, it had left her speech untouched thus far.

"I feel much better! Guess all I needed was a good meal, huh?" she joked, returning the falsetto tone Ami had used to ask the question. Ami laughed, "I'm offended! Even I know the food here stinks, no need to mock _me!_"

"What time is it?" Sakura asked offhandedly, trying to feign disinterest. Ami stood up in response, gesturing that she'd be back in a moment. When she returned, she wore a large smile.

"Time for you to head home!" she proclaimed cheerily. "Who should I phone?"

"Phone…?" Sakura questioned.

"Well, you didn't exactly drive here yourself. We didn't notify your parents since you're legally an adult, but I can call them to pick you up if you'd like!"

"No!" Sakura shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly. Picking up on Ami's shocked expression, she laughed nervously. "I just don't want to bother them, sorry. Can you call Naruto? Err, Naruto Uzumaki, that is."

"The blond from before? He actually left his number with us… he was the one to drop you off in the first place. I think he intended on picking you up once you'd finished your stay. Before I call him, let me make sure you're really ready to go." Sakura tensed- just what would this woman be checking? She was relieved to see Ami simply pull out a stethoscope and a blood pressure monitor. Once everything appeared to be normal, aside from what the black-haired nurse referred to as a "relatively low blood pressure, likely due to all the sleeping you've been doing today!", Sakura was given the okay.

"I'll go call Naruto now," Ami promised. "Don't move an inch!"

With that, she was gone. Sakura was nearly sent into shock by the course of events had taken over the last few minutes. As much as she dreaded the car ride home with Naruto, anything would be better than a car ride with her parents. _I shouldn't be thinking about them right now, _Sakura reasoned, feeling rather drowsy. She shut her eyes for a few minutes, wondering what she'd do once she was released from this hell hole.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Hey, sleepy-head," came a loud voice to Sakura's right. "Ready to go home?"

Sakura's eyes opened slowly- she was groggy from her short nap. She looked the the right, taking in the sight of Naruto, who had his hands behind his head in his typical sheepish fashion. Sakura could tell he was nervous, and looked away from him accordingly. Looking to her left, she bid farewell to the yellow, plastic curtains.

Nodding, Sakura shifted her legs to the right side of the bed she'd inhabited for the past 24 hours. Luckily, she'd left the socks from earlier on and was spared the wrath of the unforgiving icy floor.

"Ami offered to wheel you out. Like, in a wheel chair? If you felt you couldn't do it, or anything." Naruto said, observing how slowly Sakura was moving away from the bed she'd been so eager to leave before. Seeing Sakura's eyes open wide, Naruto allowed himself to laugh. "I think it was a joke, Sakura-chan."

Sakura laughed too, but it was painfully obvious to both parties that she was faking. Neither said anything, and Naruto offered her his arm stoically. She felt him falter as she accepted his help, grasping his arm with her thin fingers. She clasped his arm like a small child would, fearing falling and _actually _being wheeled out.

The odd pair traveled down the hallway, in the opposite direction of the bathroom. They reached the front desk, which Sakura now saw for the first time. Ami came running up behind them, carrying an overstuffed bag.

"You probably don't want to wear _that_ once you leave," she explained, panting as she gestured at Sakura's revealing hospital gown. Sakura suddenly became painfully aware of how short the gown was. It only just reached her knees, and she found herself pulling at the hem in an attempt to lengthen it by sheer force of will.

"My car's not far. Want me to pull up to the front while you change and check out?" Naruto asked timidly. Sakura nodded gratefully, traveling back to the bathroom to change. She swore to herself she wouldn't ignore Naruto on the trip home to pay him back for his kindness. Once she reached the bathroom, she shut the door behind her quietly. Sakura took a deep breath as she pulled the gown over her head. She was thankful now for the absence of a mirror- had there been one, she may have never left the bathroom. She pulled on the clothes from the night before hurriedly, trying to ignore the thoughts which came creeping into her mind.

She'd eaten, she'd kept it down, she was disgusting. Sakura was used to these thoughts, and before tonight, she'd never had to deal with them. She couldn't get rid of them now though, not with Ami hanging around. Speaking of Ami, where was she? Sakura realized, with rather immediate glee, that the doting nurse had not followed her to the restroom. Sakura rejoiced and rushed to lock the door, grasping the handle just as the aforementioned nurse turned it from the other side.

Sakura bolted from the door as though it had electrocuted her. Ami walked in without knocking, not bothering to cover her eyes as Sakura rushed to finish pulling on a shirt. "Just wanted to remind you there's some paperwork for you up at the front desk! Nothing too terrible, just a few quick forms; don't forget to sign them!" Sakura nodded helplessly, shoving the limp gown she'd been wearing before in the bag and handing it to Ami.

Ami left the room with Sakura in tow, who was presently cursing Ami a thousand times in her head. When Sakura reached the front desk, she signed the paperwork and faked a smile the whole way through. She smiled at Ami, who told her politely that she "hoped she'd never see her again". The hospital is likely the only setting where such a farewell can be considered polite- except a prison, Sakura supposed.

Sakura left the hospital with her head raised high; she reached Naruto's car with it hung low. She tugged idly at the band on her wrist, which she couldn't seem to remove. They'd used a child's size on her- she was sure, since it wouldn't simply slide off- nothing a pair of scissors couldn't fix.

Naruto drove an old Honda accord. It was a plain tan color, with a scratch on the side from the previous owner and windshield wipers which were slightly misaligned. It wasn't much to look at, but it was his pride and joy. Once he'd earned enough to buy it, he took Sakura and Sasuke along with him on a ride around town. They spent hours exploring places which had previously been out of reach for the trio. Sakura couldn't help but smile as she remembered those times. When she opened the door, Naruto greeted her with a grin of his own.

"Ready to go home?" he asked her for the second time, appearing more excited than Sakura herself. Sakura nodded, turning away from him as she sat and began to buckle her seatbelt. As he started driving, Sakura saw him grimace for a brief moment before his smile reappeared. She felt her own façade slipping, and looked away from him, choosing instead to enjoy the view of the city at night.

"Look… I uh, I'm sorry for before. I was just so scared, Sakura. You mean so much to me, and I can't imagine if you'd di-" Naruto stopped immediately. He seemed terrified that he'd gotten so close to even uttering the word.

Sakura simply nodded, trying desperately to honor her promise of not ignoring him. The rest of the car ride was silent, with Naruto only making small talk very occasionally, and Sakura simply nodding or interjecting a few "hmm"s and "oh, yeah"s. When they reached Sakura's house, Naruto got out of his seat and opened the door for Sakura. She muttered her thanks and began to slide past him as quickly as she could.

"Wait," Naruto said, grabbing Sakura's arm to hold her in place. "Do you want to maybe… get dinner tomorrow night? Gaara thought it would be a good idea."

"Sure. Tomorrow's Saturday, right? Call me," Sakura sighed, defeated.

And with that, the pink-haired girl vanished, leaving Naruto grasping at thin air.

* * *

><p>Hey all! Just wanted to say thank you for the reviews. In response to Ellishia, who asked the very reasonable question of how the heck Gaara is supposed to help the basket-case that is Sakura- I guess you'll have to wait and see! Sorry for that, hehe, but I don't think I'll give much away just yet. Don't you worry, though, eveerryyythinng will be okay in the end! Uhm... I hope.<p>

Heads up: next chapter is going to be from Gaara's POV. We all wanna know what's going on in his head, right? Thanks for reading!


	4. No Good

It was very easy to tell nothing had changed. She ate out with them, yes, but her uneasiness wasn't difficult to detect. Naruto talked the entire time, trying desperately to fill the silence which enveloped the three. Gaara had always been a quiet person, making it easy for him to get away with saying nothing. However, _she _used to speak. He remembered the old Sakura, though he'd only known her for a few months pre-breakup. In those days, she'd usually been accompanied by that lazy boyfriend of hers, who let her do the talking while he brooded in the background.

Looking back, he did seem like the cheater type. Imagining him settling down with the brilliant pink-haired girl always seemed comical to Gaara. Sasuke was constantly instructing Sakura to be quieter, be more well-mannered, or pay attention better. He was always telling her what to do- a reversal of the bossiness of her grade school years, Naruto informed him. Even so, she relished in Sasuke's attention, doing everything she could to keep it. Her eyes brightened when he'd come out with them, and she'd laugh more than usual.

He never heard that laugh anymore. After the break-up, Sakura had dropped off the map for quite some time. It seemed like Naruto was the only one she spoke to for months. Even then it was sparingly, which is why her eating disorder came as such a shock to Naruto. He thought he knew everything about her, so missing such an important _detail _had absolutely rocked his world.

Gaara wondered if he himself had really missed it. She had seemed to be getting better a few months earlier, going out with them like normal- until it stopped. Naruto never stopped calling, but she stopped answering. Gaara had become curious, but not enough to act. He had personal experience with pain; his entire existence _was _pain. He knew she was hurting, because even when she did leave her house, she wasn't truly there with them. Her eyes were empty, and she always seemed to be waiting for it to end. But he never said a word.

It was true that he cared for her well-being. He cared for most people's well-being, though he rarely showed it. Something about Sakura was different than he was used to; she was unexpected, unfamiliar territory. He didn't know how to put his feelings into words, so he said nothing. The closest he could come to it was "curious". She inspired a feeling of curiosity in the redhead, something he was rather unacquainted with.

Curiosity had been punished in his early days. Asking questions about things ranging from his birth to his mother to his siblings had been completely ignored or returned with violence. His father was a cruel man, who cared little for weaklings. He was made stronger by this, his father would tell him. Wimps would never succeed in the business world, which Gaara was certain to go into. Even though his father hated him, he was pained at the idea of his legacy not being continued. Kankuro and Temari had his respect; he would never force the task onto them.

So Gaara, hated by his father since his birth, was trained in the art of business as well as the art of taking a hit. It used to terrify him, the volatile mood swings of the man who "raised" him. However, he'd grown apathetic by his late teens, incapable of feeling fear. He found that most emotions were lost on him- he'd been isolated in his youth, not understanding most humans. Those in his father's company who desired his position loathed him. Parents warned their children to steer clear of him; his father could destroy them if they got too close. Gaara knew loneliness better than anyone he knew. This loneliness, he was convinced, gave him the desire to help Sakura. But instead, he had sat back in silence, like he always did.

Perhaps it was this exact feeling of not doing nearly enough that drove him to say what he did to her. It was Saturday night, one day after her release from the hospital. Gaara wondered if she'd even come, knowing how flaky she'd become as of late. Naruto was extremely overjoyed- he'd washed his car and picked up Gaara far too early in order to chat. The blond-haired boy was sure Sakura had simply been overworked, and asked Gaara to cut back on her hours. In response, Gaara had simply given him a bemused look- he was almost certain showing up at her office to speak with her manager would cause her rather unnecessary stress.

And Gaara knew cutting back on her hours wouldn't help her. She never admitted it, not to Naruto or any of the nurses, knowing they wouldn't have released her so quickly if they found out she had an eating disorder. But Gaara just _knew_. She hid it well, disguising herself in baggy clothes which hung off her malnourished frame like she was a clothes hanger. But when Gaara had seen those arms the day before in the hospital, his mere assumptions had been solidified. One does not simply _forget_ to eat for several days. There was no way overworking was her problem.

"Cut the bull shit praise, Naruto," he'd spoken icily, glaring at the cheerful boy. "We both know she's not going to keep it down. If you congratulate her on one more bite it'll just encourage her. Give it up." Surprisingly, Sakura was the first to act. Naruto's mouth hung agape as she slammed her hands down on the table. Looking directly at Gaara, she bit her lip furiously.

"Oh… shut the fuck up, you snob!" she shouted before bolting out the door. Gaara and Naruto stared at each other, both unsure of what to say. As it were, they were the only two in the ramen stand. The couple who owned the place looked up from a book they were examining together. They looked at the only two chairs being used, then at the door, then back down to their book. Clearly, they did not want to get into whatever was going on. Though she'd been docile the past few months, Sakura had a reputation for being a spitfire.

"That was the first time I've seen her get angry in a while," Naruto said quietly. "She never reacts to things I say like that."

"I'm sorry," was all Gaara could muster. "I just can't stand watching it. She sits there and picks at her food, and every time she takes a bite you get jittery."

"It's okay. I knew she was faking. Of course I knew she was faking," Naruto repeated, trying to convince himself as much as Gaara. "But I can't help it. I feel like what she needs right now is for us to encourage her."

"She doesn't need that kind of encouragement, Naruto." Gaara replied, standing up from his seat. "But I should apologize." The redhead flinched as Naruto grabbed his arm and gestured for him to sit back down.

"No way, man. Give her time to cool off- otherwise we might have to call someone out to fix the wall as well as the door. She gets really scary!" the blond shouted, his face scrunching up at memories of previous things he'd been "scolded" by Sakura for.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When Gaara finally got home, night had fallen rather abruptly. It wasn't quite wintertime yet, but the days had grown noticeably shorter and he had yet to adjust. As he turned the key in the lock, he remembered Sakura. It helped that he wasn't exactly dying to return to an empty home, but Gaara found himself rushing to find his keys and leave. He owned a place by himself, which was _lovingly_ financed by his father, who asked him to stay the fuck away until he needed something. His car was embarrassingly nice- everything he owned was. He often found himself ashamed of the status symbols his father forced upon him.

If the Sabaku name meant anything, it was image. It was imperative that Gaara never slip up in public or do anything to humiliate his father. He owned only the latest things, for all the "commoners" to gaze upon in wonder. Sabakus were better than everyone else, or, as his father succinctly put it, Sabakus were built to rule. Gaara was expected to have the same mentality, though he often wished for a Honda like Naruto's instead of his own E-class Mercedes.

Pondering this, Gaara entered his car and began to drive to Sakura's. He'd been there many times before with Naruto, but this was his first time without the bubbly man-child. It was more difficult in the dark, but night had been his domain since he was a child. He felt more awake and alive as night fell, only to wish he'd slept as day broke. Sakura's house appeared vacant, except for a single dim light on the first floor. As he parked, he noticed her door remained slightly off the hinges. They'd called someone in to fix it, but they were completely booked until Monday. So Naruto and Gaara had tried, with much swearing and sweating, to fix it themselves. They'd managed to do it- sort of. The result was a door which one might notice something looked _off_ about only upon close inspection.

He slowly walked up to the door, wondering how he could reconcile himself in Sakura's eyes. Gaara had always been bad with people, but he could tell when he had screwed up more than usual. Inhaling deeply, he knocked on the door once. Waiting for a moment, and receiving no answer, he knocked again. _She's probably not home_, he convinced himself nervously, and turned around to escape.

"What dyou want?" came a voice from behind him. Gaara turned back around quickly, uncharacteristic shock evident upon his usually calm features. Sakura was holding onto the door frame, her shoulders slumped. She was definitely drunk.

* * *

><p>Sorry! This chapter is pretty short, but I really wanted to update! I've been swamped with schoolwork as well as my job. I actually work part time and am taking several AP classes, too. AND I play piano and SOMETIMES even hang out with friends. So it's hard for me to find time to write. But I'm constantly brainstorming, so don't you worry! Since I originally planned ch 5 and ch 4 to be one chapter, I think I'll have the next chapter be from Gaara's POV as well, if that's okay with you all! Once again, sorry this chapter is so short! Thanks so much for all the favorites and reviews. :)<p> 


	5. Stay

He'd seen Naruto drink. He'd seen Temari drink, too, alongside her boyfriend, Shikamaru. He'd even seen Kankuro drink. But Sakura remained a mystery to him. He'd seen her take a few sips of whatever Sasuke was drinking, yes, but never enough to get her tipsy. She was a control freak, though she hid it around Sasuke, and losing her control was obviously terrifying to her. Because of this, Gaara was incredibly alarmed to discover a very drunk Sakura gripping onto her doorframe for support, glaring at him as he stood on her porch.

He'd been poised to leave, but her presence had drawn him back towards her. He was afraid to speak, unsure if his mouth would betray him. What the hell do you say to that? "What dyou want?" she'd asked him in annoyance. What _did _he want? To apologize, naturally, but why? Why did he find himself here on the pink-haired girl's porch rather than getting her number from Naruto to get it over with via the phone? _Curiosity, _he convinced himself. _I've always wondered what the inside of her house looks like. Didn't get to see much the other night…_ Which likely would have sounded perverse, had anyone but Gaara been thinking it.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"I wonder if he ever loved me," Sakura was slurring, her eyes far off though her body remained seated. Gaara had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, coming to apologize but staying for… what the hell _was _he staying for?

Her house was a mess. He was gripped by a guilty fascination- the only girl's place he'd ever seen before was Temari's. That hardly counted, though, since she had been forcing him to help her move in. The place had been completely bare- much like Sakura's now, if you overlooked the boxes strewn all over the floor and the picture frames haphazardly thrown on the carpet. It was pretty terrifying initially, but Gaara soon realized how lucky he'd been to arrive after rather than before/during the obvious breakdown.

She had a glass coffee table. It was surprisingly intact, seated in front of a plush green couch. The walls of her apartment were cream, and the carpet was a similar shade. A short, stubby bookcase sat against the wall opposite the couch. Gaara saw many books with medical-sounding names: The Nurse's Guide to Common Diseases, Nursing for Dummies, Surgical Techniques… the list went on. Each book looked more and more battered than the last, as though someone had spent many hours poring over each one. He noticed there were several other things littering the floor. There was a scrapbook, which looked to be in pretty bad shape- torn, perhaps missing a few pages. Several journals, whose spirals were twisted and pages were bent, appeared to have once been stacked, but were now in complete disarray. The top of one such bent page, he could see, said "FOOD JOU…" but the rest was hidden, and he didn't dare take interest in any of the items and draw Sakura's attention to his curiosity.

She was already looking at him as purposefully as she could, her eyes sliding in and out of focus as she bit her lip. "Sorry I said that. I know it's weird- God- so sorry. Sorry for the mess too," she spoke more clearly, more frenzied, appearing to be near tears. Gaara felt himself begin to panic. He didn't deal with tears, didn't know how to help people in such a private time. He couldn't even help his damn self.

"Maybe I should go," he began with an exhale of breath he only just noticed he'd been holding in, trying to gracefully move from the plush green couch to the plush cream carpet in one swift movement. He inched away from the emotional train wreck who was inching ever so slowly towards him, pulling himself out of the couch he'd been sinking into. This sort of situation was intimate beyond his experience- he found himself hesitating before each movement, wondering if it was okay to leave her and also wondering if it was okay to stay. He froze in the middle of sitting up as her thin fingers snaked their way up from her side to his arm. His eyes were wide with shock, his pupils dilating as fight-or-flight kicked in and he could hear his heart pound in his ears.

"Don't go," she whispered. "Please."

And so Gaara found himself once again sitting, sinking, back on the couch, unmoving as her fingers remained on his arm, unaware of the affect those five little digits were having on him. Her hand slid down to cover his and he flinched. What did it mean, exactly, to stay with her? Was this the beginning of some beautiful friendship? Was he going to finally, after all of his heavy stares and stolen glances, be able understand this previously unattainable girl? The very idea was making him uncomfortable, which the weight of her fingers on his only worsened.

Her hand remained, though, as he once more felt his fight-or-flight kicking in. He was working himself into a frenzy, could feel the sweat building up in the corner of his forehead, just above his blood-red kanji. Love. Self-preservation. It was a choice, one that had to be made soon- he refused to go down with this sinking ship, refused to allow himself to indulge and make her pain his own. She was drunk anyway, with everything likely to be forgotten and forgiven in the morning.

"I'm sorry," he stated, not knowing whether he was apologizing for leaving or for staying that long or even for his harsh words at dinner, again. But then he looked at her and she was trembling and her nails were digging into his flesh and oh god was she crying oh god what was he supposed to _do_?

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

_ His father had had another "episode". That's what the Sabaku children called them, the incidents in which the small amount of self-control the man had vanished for a brief moment, and he allowed himself to overflow with rage. Or at least, Kankuro and Temari called them that- Gaara never spoke enough to call them anything. It was easier to stay quiet, to avoid confrontation and accept the role you were born into. Self-preservation: escape from emotions in order to remain alive. He simply __existed__._

_ His head was bleeding. It became increasingly apparent as he felt the warm liquid flow down to the tip of his nose. His father had left already, never sticking around long enough to feel guilt. Gaara wondered who would find him this time, who would shake their head and reluctantly take his hand to clean the wound. _

_ It was always this way, for as long as the boy could remember. He'd never had a mother, no, of course not- that had been his fault. No one spoke of his mother's death, not a single word of the woman who had lost her life while giving him his. He often thought that perhaps it would have been better had she not given him that breath of life, had she not exchanged her valued existence for his worthless one. Sometimes he fantasized that she talked to him, that she told him it was all worth it. It was terrible if he thought of himself as the one saying it- but _she _was saying it, not him. He was worth it, she told him, and every effort she'd made was worth it, just to make him._

_ These thoughts came at him after his father had these "episodes", often paralleling just how bad they'd been. If he was only bleeding in one place, they were simply a suggestion, just a whisper in his ear. But when they were awful, terrible, when he couldn't pick himself up off the floor- she'd be screaming it, yelling in his ear just how valued _he _was, just how much she cared. It infuriated him; it made him sick to his stomach. It made him turn inwards and avoid all human contact again. _

_ "There you are," his sister would say when she found him, pressing his hand to his face as he tried to stop the blood flow; as if she'd been looking for him this whole time, like he was worth something to somebody, worth looking for. The idea repulsed him. But she would look past that, disregard his anger as she sat down next to him, unmoved from when he'd fallen backwards with the force of the blow. He felt her presence, even as he squeezed his eyes shut and willed her away_

_ Soft, slow circles were etched into his back by her soothing fingers. She was humming, whispering some forgotten lullaby under her breath. He found it oddly comforting, sitting with his sister as though she was his mother, his real mother. Not the mother from his sick delusions but his _real _mother, who was singing lightly to him and rubbing his back as he felt his eyes grow wet with tears._

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Gaara looked into Sakura's eyes, finding in them the same hurt he was so familiar with himself. She removed her hand from his, trying to recoil from him as he had been doing to her just moments before. He reached out to her, moving himself closer as she moved away. Channeling his elder sister, he put one arm around her and began to rub her back. Her head fell against his lap as she crumbled into quiet sobs. He searched for the courage to sing, but found himself only capable of a quiet hum. It didn't matter much, though, as she likely couldn't hear him over her inner turmoil. Her body was shaking delicately as he continued to etch those same soft circles into her back that his sister had made for him over a decade ago. He doubted that Temari had been able to feel his vertebra as easily as he could feel Sakura's, though, he thought with a grimace.

* * *

><p>Hey all! Apologies for the tardiness of this update- it seems I can't stick with the once-per-week schedule. But this story shall continue, even as I waste away under my biology homework. Hope this update was <em>worth the wait<em>. And thanks for all the reviews and favorites! You guys rock! :)


	6. Can't Make You Love Me

Sakura woke up with her head in someone's lap. It was rather convenient, actually, since she felt her head might break into multiple pieces if she did not have this person beneath it. It was both holding her together and breaking her apart, evidenced by the way her temples throbbed against this person's upper thigh.

"Sasuke?" she murmured sleepily, her memory filled with days when she'd woken up with her head on his chest after a night of light drinking. She'd gotten slight hangovers before, but she always remembered to stay hydrated and not exceed her limits- she'd never hurt this bad before after drinking. Clearly, something had gone wrong. And things only got worse, as the person whose legs currently kept her head from breaking open began to lift her head for her.

"Guess again," came his gruff voice, scratchy from disuse. Sakura swiftly raised her head, becoming dizzy and nauseous and achy all at once. She took one look at her savior, his blood red hair and semi-amused green eyes, and bolted to the restroom. By the time she was through emptying her stomach's meager contents, she discovered he was leaning against the doorframe. _Shit_. _Forgot to lock it_. "Have you heard of 'personal space'?" she questioned boldly, her voice now raspy and harsh even to her own ears. Gaara said nothing in response, but did raise a nonexistent eyebrow while looking more confused than apologetic. _Maybe he really hasn't heard of it_, Sakura joked mentally, _he's probably never had someone push his spoiled ass away_.

"Can I… help?" he questioned timidly, like a little boy caught doing something wrong. Sakura glared in response, trying to hold her hair back with one hand without looking like she'd done it a thousand times in the past few months. She willed herself to stay quiet, trying to maintain what little shreds of dignity she hadn't vomited away- but of course her brain refused to comply. "Water?" she croaked pathetically.

He sprang into action, surprisingly, skittering out of the bathroom nervously. She heard several cabinets in the kitchen open, a few crashes and bangs (wince) - then the faucet, footsteps, and a glass in her outstretched hands. She took a slow, grateful sip, and dared to look up at him. His eyes were not on her, though; he was examining her mirror. Or rather, he was staring intently at the pieces which she'd never gotten around to throwing out.

"You should probably replace that," he chided in what he likely thought was a helpful tone. "It seems sort of dangerous to me." Sakura said nothing, allowing the bright red color flooding her face to speak for itself.

She rose slowly, wordlessly, flushing last night's dinner down, wishing last night could drain from her memory in a similar fashion. She nearly chuckled as the familiarity of the situation dawned on her- but she wasn't alone now. Stopping to wash her hands and face at the sink, she placed the glass on the countertop before heading into the kitchen herself. She heard Gaara follow behind her slowly, as if he was afraid of getting too close.

Sakura tried to recall what happened the previous night while fumbling through a cabinet filled with medicine bottles. Where the fuck was her Advil, anyway? She must have looked insane, tossing random bottles aside and wincing at the noise each discarded container made. When she at last found what she was looking for, she grabbed the Advil bottle predatorily. No noise… but she winced anyway.

"It's fucking empty," she swore under her breath. "Fuck!" she shout-whispered angrily, before sliding to the floor. Placing her aching head in her hands, she was mortified when a dry sob escaped from her. Unable to face Gaara, Sakura continued to hold her head carefully while he calmly said he'd "be right back", before bolting out her front door. At least that saved her the embarrassment of breaking down completely in front of him. However, once he was gone, Sakura was free to dwell on the events of last night.

Snippets from the awkward dinner came back to her. Then there was throwing, ripping, crying, drinking- she remembered everything pre-sake. She'd ripped that damn scrapbook up while _sober_. After Ino and she had "fallen out", Sakura had refused to throw it away. It held so many precious memories, a reminder of better times. Throwing it away would signify that Ino had finally won. She'd finally beat Sakura- she got the looks, the boy, and got to keep the good memories on top of it all. So Sakura had always kept the album, though looking at it made her physically ill (not that it took much, of course). Apparently she had given in last night, however, ripping pages out and tearing the cover slightly. With absolute horror, she noticed her food journals were mixed in with the scrapbook pages and boxes full of the shit Sasuke never came to pick up.

In a way, holding on to his things had been her safety net. It was actually quite a bit of stuff- his XBOX 360, some games, some shirts of his which still retained his scent, after all this time. She still had his towels, his shampoo and conditioner (it was a wonder he hadn't come back to get those, the vain bastard). She kept them so that if he came back- _when he came back - _everything would be as it had once been. There would be no awkward moving-back-in phase, where he had to buy new things in order to avoid mooching off hers.

But time had worn on, and even though she'd moved his shorts out of her dresser and his toothbrush out of her bathroom and into boxes, the items wore away at her. His things became less of a promise for the future and more of a promise that was already broken. So, in an obvious fit of rage which had thankfully happened prior to Gaara's entrance into her house, she had moved the boxes from beside her bedside table and out into the open. But she hadn't managed to actually remove any of this shit from her house, which sort of pissed her off. She'd been courageous enough, _without alcohol_, to move his stuff and tear up reminders of the past. She supposed once she'd gotten around to drinking, all that heavy lifting would have seemed monumental… so she hadn't done it.

There was nothing to do now but sit and wait. Would Gaara ever come back? It was difficult to tell with the way he'd basically ran away from her once that cursed sob had escaped from her stupid body. It's not like she had much else to do- in the past few days she'd managed to miss work, go to the hospital, alienate her only friend, win her friend(s?) back with a dinner date, and then re-alienate them._ This weekend is turning out to be wonderful,_ she thought sarcastically. Getting up off of the floor was the hardest thing she'd done all morning, and pulling herself together afterwards instead of descending into her second breakdown in the past 12 hours was even more challenging. But Sakura was tough, she told herself, she'd made it this far and certainly had no plans to go back.

She calmly walked over to the living room, her head still pounding and her legs feeling weak and new, as if she hadn't been using them for days. Working slowly but tirelessly, she moved the boxes on top of each other. _This is my punishment_, she told herself, _this is what I deserve. I never gave up on him coming back, and now I'm finally facing the truth. It had to happen sometime._ So why was she crying? It was difficult to explain, and Sakura felt she had never cried as much as she was crying right then. When Sasuke had left, she sealed all of her tears up in a place inside of her where nothing, she thought, could reach them.

But here they were, escaping from the corners of her tired eyes without stopping. Sakura couldn't hold them back, couldn't brush them away fast enough. So she succumbed to the tears, walking aimlessly to the bathroom to drink more water in hopes of being distracted. The boxes were all piled up now, the scrapbook inside of them, somewhere. She couldn't bring herself to destroy the food journals, though, and had instead piled them neatly at the foot of the bookshelf. _Maybe I should throw the bookshelf out, too,_ she thought bitterly, _since all it houses are pipe dreams_. The medical books her friends had bought her for her birthday, back before everything had gone downhill, remained in the bookshelf. She'd looked over them extensively, studying as if the NCLEX-RN was days away and she was destined to pass.

None of it mattered though, of course. If you didn't have money, you were nothing in this world. It was difficult to deny that she was bitter, but she didn't really feel that way. More like jaded, more like rejected. She'd been handed the wrong lot in life- maybe, if she worked for the next 20 years, she'd have enough to go to medical school. How could she be sure, though, that she'd even be alive in 20 years? She knew how choosing not to eat often shortened one's lifespan. Sakura was more than aware that she had likely shaved a few years off of her life with her habits. However, it wasn't that bad of a situation; she wondered if she even wanted to live 20 more years. Life was tiring, and she had been deserted, left alone to wade through the shit life handed to her.

Nevermind that she was renting a house, and was making payments exactly on time every month; nevermind that she had a friend who would call her up constantly and ask her to hang out, though he knew she'd say no. She needed something more, a connection that ran deeper and gave her more of a challenge than what she had right now. Simply existing- paying rent, going to work, working out, and going through the motions- was getting to be too _boring_. And when life became boring, what was the reason to go on living it?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a polite knock on the door. "It's unlocked," she shouted, knowing full well who it would be. But when she looked out from the bathroom door, her eyes did not meet a pair of green ones. She didn't see his red hair, didn't notice his eyebrow-less expression and his cryptic kanji. Instead, she met _his _onyx eyes. His blue-black hair was perfect as always, and she became hyper-aware of how she looked. _Fuck my fucking mirror_, she thought desperately, knowing that she looked like shit.

"Oh. It's you," she choked out, unsure how to speak to him. He looked confused, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Those damn eyes, looking at her like they knew everything, used to comfort her. She used to feel safe in his protective gaze. Now she felt as though he was picking her apart.

"Were you expecting someone?" he questioned curiously, looking back to her slightly-off doorframe. Sakura looked back at him blankly. Was he _judging _her? Did he honestly have the audacity to walk into her house at whatever the hell time it was and _judge _her? After all the shit he put her through, the least he could do was apologize.

"I still have your shit. You should take it, it's right over there," she spat out at him, feeling outrage bubble up inside of her as she pointed shakily towards the boxes. She was angry with him for coming back and judging her, but she was even more pissed off at herself for feeling sympathetic. She didn't want to yell at him- she wanted a hug, she wanted him to look at her with approval. He could've patted her on the head and said "good girl" and she'd be fucking peachy. Her weakness was still there, after all the training she'd been doing with self-control. She wouldn't let him see her cry, she swore to herself while self-consciously wiping her eyes, though she'd stopped crying several minutes ago.

"I didn't come for that, though I guess it would be nice," he mused quietly. "What the hell are you doing, exactly? You're a fucking stick." _I will not cry, I will not cry,_ Sakura told herself, trying to project a devil-may-care attitude.

"Why is it your business what I look like? You don't even know who I am," she said boldly, trying to act far braver than she felt.

"I still care about you, baby," Sakura winced at his even bolder statement, "just not in the same way I used to. I wish we could still be friends," he smiled disarmingly. She found herself wilting in his gaze, wanting to be the person he wanted to be friends with. All of his wrongs were forgotten, and he was just the person she needed right now. Logic was taking the backseat, and suddenly she found herself needing him, wanting him to be hers again.

"And that's why I came here. I heard you were admitted to the hospital on Friday," he spoke boldly again. She had forgotten how proud he was, how he spoke what he wanted without fearing retribution. She supposed she'd fueled that, though- she never discouraged it, never yelled at him when he said something insensitive. She wondered how he'd even found out about her brief hospital visit- _Naruto._ Why the hell would he say something, though? What good would come out of telling Sasuke?

Her forgiveness of him faded as he continued speaking. "What is wrong with you, Sakura? You have a serious problem. You're hurting everyone around you with this selfish behavior, and I can't sit back and watch you do that to people. This weird, anorexic look… it's not even pretty!" he finished triumphantly. She might have responded, might have called him on his bullshit, had a voice not come from the doorway, from behind Sasuke's burning black eyes.

"_So _sorry you're upset with Sakura's behavior. We'll get back to you when she _gives a shit. _Now get the fuck out of here," Gaara's voice came, low and dangerous, from the entrance to her house. Sasuke's eyes opened wide, and he turned to locate the source. What he found was an enraged Gaara, whose black-rimmed eyes were furiously glaring at him. Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then ran for the door- if he was a dog, his tail would be between his legs.

"He didn't take his stuff," Sakura whispered, trying to pull herself together. Still furious, Gaara picked up all 3 boxes (which were almost too heavy for Sakura to lift individually) and walked back towards the door with them. Sakura ran after him, thrilled and also terrified by the spontaneity of the action. Sasuke was sitting in his car, texting too quickly to notice Gaara walk up to his car and open the door to the backseat. Sasuke froze in shock as Gaara threw the boxes into the back of the car in one swift movement and slammed the door behind him. When Gaara walked back towards Sakura, weakly standing on her small porch, Sasuke threw his car into reverse and sped off.

"Sorry for that," Gaara whispered, panting heavily. "I can't stand assholes."

* * *

><p>Went through the old chapters and fixed a few errors in them (I'm sort of a perfectionist, so seeing all those typos, etc. was super upsetting!) Thank you EVERYONE for the reviews, favorites, etc. It's very encouraging! Hope this update is quick enough- I'm trying my best! It's spring break for me, but I'm still working and have a lot of schoolwork... I'm hoping to finish another chapter up before I am smacked in the face by "testing season"- finals, AP tests, the ACT, and TAKES (Texas' standardized testing procedure). Thankfully I already took the SAT on Saturday! Oh, and in response to Ellishia, who wondered if Gaara had an interest in Sakura, the answer is yes! I tried to subtly hint at it, but he sees pieces of himself in her. I have quite a few instances where Sakura's attitude mirrors Gaara'sGaara's past attitudes. Thanks everyone... I'll start working on chapter 7 soon!


	7. Morning After?

"By the way," Gaara was saying, "I brought you some medicine. Hold on a second." He rose up from the table in her small kitchen where the two had been seated for about 15 minutes. When he returned, he carried a shopping bag full of various painkillers. There must have been dozens of bottles of medicine- but that wasn't all. In his other hand, he carried a carton of orange juice. There were also a few containers of Alka-Seltzer, a bottle of Gatorade, and a box of crackers. He poured it all out on the table and looked at her timidly. "I didn't know what to get, so I called Naruto. He was the one who told me Sasuke might be coming over, so I just bought everything he suggested and left as fast as I could."

Sakura was dumbfounded. All of these things, though small, must have cost a fortune altogether… or at least more than she would spend on a typical grocery store run back when Sasuke and she were still together. Unsure of how to express her gratitude, Sakura simply nodded and squeaked out a "wow, thanks," before her mind began to work on why he had bought her so many things. Surely she hadn't done something to lead him on last night? _Oh God, _she thought miserably, _maybe I came on to him? _Her mind was still unable to remember what she had done, and the blush on her face would have been a dead giveaway to her thoughts. She looked down at the table to avoid Gaara's eyes, but it was too late.

"Is something wrong? Did I do something?" he asked quickly, embarrassed and confused. Sakura shook her head, unsure of how to ask. _"So Gaara, did I sleep with you last night or anything?" _didn't seem like a proper way to broach the subject, especially since he was basically her boss... except even more important. So she beat around the bush, stuttering and looking away nervously, before finally getting to the point.

"Look… I can't remember what I did after I drank last night. Did I do anything… uh, well, you know… did I like…" she stuttered, unable to bring herself to say it. Gaara looked at her, trying to understand while still looking sympathetic. "Did I do anything inappropriate?" Sakura said to her lap, dying of embarrassment while the red-head simply stared. He shook his head slowly, obviously pondering what the connotations of "inappropriate" were.

"You were upset. But you didn't do anything wrong," he said slowly, not giving away much. However, she thought she saw his eyes flash with an emotion she couldn't identify for a brief moment before he turned away silently. He found the glasses in the cabinet much easier the second time, and when he returned to the table he was completely composed. "Orange juice?" he asked cheerfully, in a tone of voice she hadn't _ever_ heard Gaara use.

"Alright…" she gave in meekly, her painful hangover preventing her from refusing. Empty calories were a small matter when she felt as if her entire body was waging war on her. Grabbing the Alka-Seltzer, which boasted about its incredible hangover-relieving powers, Sakura poured herself into a chair once more and sulked. To recap, she had likely engaged in some mildly embarrassing activities (including littering her living room floor with mementos of the past) whilst drunk, waking up with her head in the lap of her _superior_. To top it all off, her delightful ex had shown up to throw some salt into her wounds while her hangover raged on. She was rescued by the aforementioned superior, who was obviously withholding details of the previous night from her. It was enough to wear her out, simply listing off the events of last night/this morning. That is, if it was even morning anymore.

"What time is it?" she pondered aloud curiously, not expecting an answer. It was strange, but she honestly didn't care about the answer- she simply wanted to end the silence. When he didn't answer, Sakura chanced a glance behind her. Gaara was standing there sullenly, looking down at an expensive-looking smartphone. A blackberry, maybe? Sakura could never keep up with the fancy new gadgets they came out for rich people to play with.

"It's 2:30," he said to the floor, quietly. "I actually have to go. Will you be…" he faltered here, deciding whether it was okay to ask, "will you be okay alone?" Sakura looked at him, wearing his crumpled up dress shirt and designer jeans from the night before. His hands remained still, but he seemed unsettled. Sakura nodded delicately, getting up to put the orange juice away before she could change her mind.

"Ah-ah," Gaara scolded. "Already poured you a glass," he gestured to the glass, half-full (or is it half-empty?). He knew she hadn't been planning on drinking it, so he'd at least been polite and forced as little on her as possible. "I won't babysit you, but… you should drink it," Gaara explained patiently, seeing the hint of defiance in Sakura's eyes. Sakura nodded, unsure of what she would actually do once he left.

Gaara turned around after that, not saying another word as he headed for the door. Sakura let out a tired sigh, growing more used to his awkwardness than she cared to admit. Following him timidly, she expected him to stop once he reached the door. Having no such luck, she reached out carefully and touched his elbow, noticing his flinch as he whirled around to meet her gaze.

"Sorry. I just uh… I wanted to say thanks," she bumbled gracelessly, feeling his eyes bore into hers with a look that seemed uniquely _Gaara_. His face was unreadable for a moment, but this look was quickly replaced by a smile- a genuine smile, one that suited his undeniably handsome face quite a bit. He let out a quiet chuckle, more out of disbelief than amusement.

"No," he answered her honestly. "Thank you." With that, he turned around and got into his car. There was a little bit of hesitation as his eyes lingered on the small girl in the doorway, leaning on the frame for support. Sakura looked bewildered, unsure of what exactly he was thanking her for.

"Oh god," she whispered to herself. "Maybe I really did sleep with him."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Once Gaara was gone, the house was noticeably emptier. Unsure of how to fill the space he left behind, Sakura turned on her radio and decided to shower. It was 2:30… in the afternoon? She'd managed to squander away her weekend rather quickly. Tomorrow, she'd have to explain her absence to her manager and catch up on any paperwork she'd missed. She'd also have to work out exactly what the hell had happened last night, since a certain red head didn't seem to be anywhere near cracking.

Sakura turned on the shower and let the water run over her, feeling her hangover begin to dissipate as the Alka-Seltzer she'd taken once he left kicked in. The glass of orange juice had been gingerly placed inside her fridge- she dared not pour it down the sink, but couldn't bring herself to drink it just yet. Going through the motions, Sakura washed her hair delicately while mulling over the past few months. It seemed as though she always did her deepest thinking in the shower, or at least now that she was older she did.

When Sakura was a child, she'd waste quite a bit of time singing in the shower. She made up her own songs or sang ones she knew with much bravado and added motion. It was surprising, looking back, that her parents hadn't told her to pipe down. They shared a shower, since Sakura's bathroom contained only a tub (which she insisted was for babies). These memories seemed so distant now- but at the time, they were all she had. The time _before_, memories of her family when everything had been okay.

In the aftermath of the incident, Sakura sometimes wondered if those memories had even happened. Things had been going downhill once she hit high school- they knew she was throwing up to get out of school, had maybe noticed her doing it a little more frequently than usual, even- but they said nothing. Sakura had confessed to her parents that she had been trying to lose weight, that she was growing desperate, and that she was scared of what she was doing to herself.

Her parents were angry, displeased. Her mother wondered why she was paying for lunch if Sakura simply got rid of it afterwards. Her father claimed he'd known all along and questioned her ceaselessly. They threatened mental institutions, promising to send her somewhere where eating was required. They didn't have the energy to babysit her, her mother was tired and her father was busy with work. It wasn't their job to watch her anymore- she was a big kid now, the whole deal.

Sakura did not want to be sent off anywhere. She had swallowed the whole story, retreating inside herself in order to continue her high school career. She didn't have many friends, and growing closer to Sasuke had certainly not helped that. Even before they dated, girls would give her funny looks and sometimes do ridiculous things like trip her in the hall or "accidentally" bump into her on their way past her. It wasn't until they'd been dating a year and she was a senior in high school that rumors of Sasuke's infidelity approached her.

They were jealous of her, Sasuke told her confidently. She'd believed him, because she was eating (although not too much), and she could feel her self-confidence growing ever so slowly as time went on. Her parents never spoke of the incident again, but when she moved out with Sasuke after graduation, they severed contact. It was painful, but at least she had Sasuke… until she didn't.

Sakura sighed as she shut off the shower, feeling drained rather than refreshed as she stepped out of the shower and dried off. Leave it to her brain to haunt her on the day she was feeling the weakest. That's what Sasuke did to her- he made her weak, caused her to lose herself. She had found herself forgiving him, ready to move past his mistakes and let him back into her life just like that. It was a pathetic display, and she wondered exactly how much Gaara had heard. Looking back, it was easy to think of things she could have said to Sasuke, insults she could have thrown at him to make him hurt as he had hurt her. But at the time, she couldn't bring herself to hurt him- she wondered if she could even do that if she tried, now. As Sakura tried tirelessly to remove herself from a past she could not forget, it appeared Sasuke had begun anew without even trying.

With Sasuke went Ino, leaving only Naruto, who sided with her from day 1, though she wasn't sure why. Sasuke and Naruto had had their fair share of fights (and then some,) but Sakura always felt left out around the pair, and figured she would lose Naruto just as she had lost the other two most important people in her life. She didn't expect him to call her ever again, which made it even more surprising when he showed up at her door the day after, rousing her from the bed she hadn't left in over 12 hours and helping her clean up the dishes she'd smashed the day before. Although she refused to speak, he talked to her, comforted her, and brushed through her hair like a close female friend would. She couldn't imagine where he had gotten this advice, but she guessed it was from Hinata, his female shadow and doting girlfriend.

Sakura dressed in her pajamas lazily and headed towards the kitchen without thinking, wandering aimlessly, lost in the house she'd lived in for what felt like forever. As she headed towards the table, she saw the bags of things Gaara had bought, untouched except for the medicine she'd taken. Seeing this as an opportunity to tidy up, Sakura began to put the items away, finding places for things she wondered if she'd ever need again.

When she discovered the bottle of Gatorade, she cautiously grabbed it and pulled it out of the bag. Eyeing it suspiciously, she looked to see if it needed to be refrigerated or not. Finding no such information, she sighed and opened her fridge, just in case. The glass of orange juice stared at her from its spot on the middle shelf. Pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand, Sakura placed the Gatorade in the door of the fridge and reached for the glass.

Her fingers closed around the cool glass and she found herself hesitating, filled with anticipation and fear of the taste. _Here goes nothing_, she thought timidly. Tipping the glass back, Sakura finished the orange juice in 2 gulps. Easy.

* * *

><p>Hey again everyone! Sorry my chapters are few and far between, but I hope you know I'm trying. I made a cake this week... it was delicious. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. Thanks again to everyone who favorited, reviewed, and read in general. Love you guys!<p> 


	8. Something Vague

"Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!" Kimi chattered gleefully as Sakura made her way past the information desk. Shooting Kimi an unfriendly look, she stopped in her tracks and faced the bright blue-eyed girl. Kimiko Nakamura, the resident gossip- she had outrageously dyed blonde hair, eyes with a color only contacts could achieve, and nails which always seemed freshly manicured. Her skin was rather tan, mimicking (though not as outrageously,) the ganguro style that Sakura had never been able to fully comprehend. Even more difficult to understand was how Sakura had ended up working with the _delightful _girl. They weren't so different, though- everyone thought Sakura's pink hair and green eyes were artificial. However, she could truthfully say they weren't; Kimi had no hope in that department.

"I totally feel you, girl. Wild weekend, right? Where were you Friday?" she exclaimed loudly, not bothering to lower her voice as other employees streamed past. "And who is Na-ru-to?" she asked hungrily, drawing his name out in what she likely thought was a sexy, enticing voice. Sakura groaned and looked down at the floor. The best way to deal with Kimi was give her some information to throw her off your scent and then duck and cover.

"I wasn't feeling well. Naruto's my friend, did he come by to tell you I was sick on Friday?" Sakura said passively, beginning to make her way to her cubicle. At this, Kimi rose from her desk, holding a microwave meal in one hand and her cellphone in the other. Reaching Sakura's cubicle, the blonde pocketed her cell phone and began to munch on the contents of her meal, while Sakura sat down rigidly and attempted fruitlessly to avert her eyes from the scene.

"Sick?" Kimi cried through a mouthful of food, once again demonstrating her lack of volume control and manners. "Yeah, he came by on Friday but I thought sick was code for something… _steamier_," she cooed with a wink. Sakura tried her best to put on a good-natured smile, though her blood pressure was likely entering the danger zone.

"Of course not, Kimi! Naruto is just a friend. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Sakura paused as Kimi deposited the now-empty microwave meal into _her _trashcan.

"No worries, gf! I gotta get back to the info desk anyway. Tell Naruto I say- wait, if he's not with you, that means he's free, right? Should've pounced when I had the chance! Later Sa-ku-raa!" with that, Kimi headed back to the information desk, strutting the short distance as though she was a model on a runway. Now considerably more aggravated than when she'd first entered the office, Sakura turned her computer on and reached for the phone to make herself "available" for customers to call in. Staring angrily at the remnants of Kimi's 11 o'clock lunch, Sakura reminded herself of her plan.

Due to a serious miscalculation during a hangover caused by alcohol which she was sure had gone straight to her thighs, Sakura had had a deluded sense of hope for new beginnings. Once she gathered her bearings and her head stopped pounding, she resolved to go for a new beginning- just not the one she had previously planned. The problem before had been a small error she had made which caused her to become too obvious. She needed to regain the trust of Naruto while still maintaining what little improvement she'd made. Looking in the mirror was enough to give her strength- whenever she felt weak, she need only look at the disgusting mess she now was. The mirror in her house being broken was a little discouraging, but she had a scale in her bathroom and mirrors at work and the gym.

Acting normal was imperative, and she wondered how one mimicked the steps of recovery- she'd have to look it up later. Sakura slowly unpacked her lunch, consisting of an orange and a container of low-fat vanilla yogurt. Easy foods, things which she stowed in her bag as she headed to the bathroom. The yogurt was emptied into the trash, followed by the contents of the orange peel. The peel and the container were both put back in her bag, with a spoonful of yogurt remaining. Returning to her cubicle, Sakura checked to ensure no one was looking and slowly removed the container and peel from her bag. Placing the bag on the floor, Sakura removed the plastic spoon she had used to empty the yogurt and put it back in the container. It was the perfect set-up, something she could "eat" every day without drawing suspicion to herself by leaving. She would have to find a new time for her lunch workouts, but they were getting more difficult to do lately anyway- with her new plan, she'd hopefully be getting thinner even faster.

The idea sent shivers down her back, the thrill of a dramatic change ahead resonating throughout her entire body. The phone rang, distracting her with a customer's question about insurance related to their recent hospital visit to one of the many Sabaku facilities. It wasn't until the call was finished that Sakura realized she had a call waiting from line 2- Kimi's desk. Sakura slowly pushed the button to take the call, recoiling once she'd done so as though her phone might bite her.

"Sakura? Heeey! Guess WHAT!" Sakura remained silent as Kimi shouted in what she was sure was a very close proximity to the phone. Lowering her voice for once in her life, Kimi whispered mysteriously into the receiver, "Hey, if you take the red-haired boy can I have Naruto? Or were you lying about him being single earlier?" Sakura missed the last part, having removed the phone from her face once Kimi mentioned a red-haired boy. Thrown into momentary panic, Sakura hung up the phone and peered around the edge of her cubicle to confirm that, yes, Gaara Sabaku was standing in her office, looking around disinterestedly as Naruto chit-chatted with Kimi. Drawing in a sharp breath, Sakura glanced at the fake lunch she had arranged on her desk and exhaled calmly. Standing up slowly, she made her way to the pair as enthusiastically as she could muster.

"Hey you guys! What are you doing here?" Sakura was sure she sounded strange, but it was very rare that she got visited at work. Naruto stopped his conversation with her psychotic co-worker and turned to Sakura.

"Hey yourself! We came to take you to lunch!" Naruto cried, matching Sakura with what appeared to be genuine enthusiasm. Sakura tried her best to look disappointed as she delivered the bad news.

"Aw jeez you guys, I'd love to but… I just ate. You should've told me sooner, I wouldn't have eaten so early if I'd known you were coming!" As expected, both boys gave her a skeptical look and then exchanged glances among themselves. Sakura grinned sheepishly, about to say something to distract them when Kimi stepped in.

"So, Naruto… what do you do for work?" she asked amiably, her voice dripping in seduction. Naruto, puzzled by her behavior, paused for a moment. Kimi was leaning over her desk, allowing her low-cut top to rest just below Naruto's line of sight. Eyeing her suspiciously, Gaara took hold of Sakura's hand and lead her towards the cubicle he'd just watched her exit. Sakura normally would have been panicking, but her plan gave her a peace of mind she hadn't experienced in months. When they reached the entrance to the cubicle, Gaara released her hand and she sat down. He lurked in the entrance, not wanting to come in and invade her small space. Sakura gestured to the food remnants on her desk apologetically, trying her best to hide her smugness. For effect, Sakura picked up the yogurt and shoved the final spoonful of yogurt down her unwilling throat, forcing a smile. Picture perfect.

To her surprise, Gaara's worry did not appear to be assuaged. "An orange… and yogurt? That's your lunch?" Sakura coughed politely, unsure of what to say, when she remembered something that delighted her immensely.

"No, Gaara, look," she said innocently, gesturing to the trashcan where Kimi's trash had been discarded. "I already finished that. Look, I know you're worried about me for Naruto's sake, but isn't it a bit too much? I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself." Sakura finished icily, trying to ignore the look of surprise in Gaara's eyes. The atmosphere in her cubicle grew tenser as neither said a word, Gaara still staring at the microwave meal remnants in the trash and Sakura tentatively arranging her pink hair. She knew she was being harsh, and she really did like Gaara… in fact, there were too many feelings she did not understand associated with him for her to determine_ just how much_ she liked him. But the goal of her plan was to drive him away, because he was too nosey, too intelligent, and far too caring for her. With Gaara around, the plan may not succeed.

"You're right, Sakura." Gaara finally spoke, his words breaking the silence which had fallen over the pair. "I didn't realize how involved I had become. Forgive me for treating you like a child," Gaara spoke quietly and calmly though his eyes flashed with anger and disappointment. Sakura looked away, becoming very interested in her computer mouse as he spoke. Faking a smile once more, she rose and began to walk out of the cubicle. Gaara moved aside slowly, allowing her to get by him. Sakura returned to the information desk, not looking back once at Gaara as he stood frozen in the entrance to her cubicle, a look of bitter confusion still haunting his features.

The scene Sakura returned to was not much different than the one she'd just left- the situation between Naruto and Kimi seemed to have gone sour in her absence. Kimi was facing away from the natural blond, who appeared to be just as confused as she'd left Gaara, though he was much worse at masking it.

"C'mon lady," Naruto was saying bashfully, "I was just asking. You're the one who was practically forcing them on me!" Kimi turned her head even _farther _away from him in response, eliciting a "hmph!" in reply. Sakura sighed and attempted to mend whatever had gone awry.

"Hey Naruto, sorry about lunch, but I think Gaara's ready to go now." Gaara appeared behind her as she said this, and she cringed at the thought of him calling her out on her lie. But instead of expressing indignation, Gaara simply took his place at Naruto's side and nodded to the blond. Kimi, slow on the uptake, spun her chair around to face the pair immediately.

"Gaara? Gaara… Sabaku? Ohmigod Sakura, why didn't you TELL me? It's like having ROYALTY in the office! I am so so so sorry sir, is there anything I can do for you? I can't believe I didn't recognize you! I had no idea you were so... handsome" Kimi purred, her tone skipping from panicked frenzy to enticing in seconds flat. Gaara looked repulsed, and shook his head before grabbing his friend's arm and exiting as quickly as he could. Watching the pair retreat, Kimi turned to face her pink-haired co-worker.

"Hey… Sakura…?" she asked timidly, Sakura grunting in reply. "Do my boobs look fake to you?"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Gaara knocked on the door of the house impatiently, still in a bad mood from his lunchtime encounter with Sakura and her charming "friend". He heard movement from inside stop once his hand rapped on the glass door and groaned in annoyance.

"Open the damn door or I'm breaking it down!" he called out, knowing those inside would take him seriously. A giggle came from inside, followed by a crash and a loud whimper. _Jesus fucking Christ, _he thought furiously, _is it so hard to open a god damned door? _The door opened abruptly, ending the stream of curses he was mentally sending on the house.

"Baby brother!" Temari cried happily, holding on to her forehead where she appeared to be bleeding. Seeing Gaara's eyes raise to the spot, Temari laughed awkwardly. "Well, you see, Shika and I were… well, before you came we were…"

"Fixing the blinds!" came a shout from the background, the lazy monotone easily identified as Shikamaru. Temari blushed vehemently and nodded. "Yes, yes, we were fixing the blinds and when you knocked I fell right off the…ladder… and hit my head on the bedside table!"

"There are blinds above your bed?" Gaara asked bemusedly, to which Temari laughed nervously and gestured for him to come inside. Gaara followed his older sister cautiously, worried he might come across Shikamaru, as he had in the past, in some state of undress. His fears subsided, however, when he found the Nara boy fully clothed in the kitchen, brewing some coffee. "Isn't it a bit late for that?" Gaara asked, checking his watch. "I don't think you're supposed to have coffee after noon."

"Are you kidding? I always have coffee at 4 o'clock!" Temari laughed awkwardly, still feeling embarrassed for the slip-up earlier and wandering around the house looking for a band-aid. "Just kidding. I asked him to put it on- it's for you." Gaara was shocked at the gesture, and also mildly alarmed that Temari had made his habits known to Shikamaru. He had done fairly well pretending he was normal around his sister's live-in boyfriend, and drinking coffee at 4 o'clock was not a normal thing.

Nevertheless Gaara smiled at the older man, realizing he was only trying to be nice. It had taken quite some time for Gaara to grow used to his siblings, as they were often separated from him when he was younger. But his sister was surprisingly warm and comforting, a fact which had lead him to her house this sunny Monday afternoon. Clearing his throat, Gaara stepped past his sister, who was anxiously emptying a drawer under the stove, and headed towards the bathroom. Remembering how he'd cut his foot on something last time he'd visited, Gaara opened the cabinet under the sink and immediately located the band-aids. He paused for a moment before leaving and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. _Sakura really should get her mirror fixed_, he thought to himself before shaking his head and going to search for his sister.

"Here," he said placidly, handing Temari a band-aid from the pack. Looking at him gratefully, she grabbed a towel to wipe up the blood and placed the bandaid on her forehead gingerly. Letting out a sigh of relief, she stood up and stretched.

"Thank you!" she smiled enthusiastically. "Now I can greet you normally!" she said into his shoulder as she pulled him into a huge hug. Gaara flinched at first, but found himself relaxing as Temari's familiar scent infiltrated his nostrils. When she released him, Gaara looked up at his older sister apprehensively. "What is it?" Temari asked, noticing the tension surrounding him. Gaara looked over at Shikamaru, who was doing his best to appear as though he was deaf, then looked back at Temari. Understanding right away, Temari called out, "Shika babe? Could you run to the store and get some creamer? I totally just remembered we're out!"

Shikamaru sighed in response, but obliged nonetheless. Calling out thank yous after him, Temari turned to her little brother and took his hand. She led him to the spacious living room and sat down on the couch, still holding his hand. "Now dish!" she exclaimed, obviously expecting some juicy gossip. "You look like you have some girl problems… I can't explain to you how exciting this is for me." Gaara let out a timid smile and tried to relax, remembering how he'd sunk into Sakura's couch and how messy her house had been and how different it had felt when her hand touched his as compared to Temari's hand, resting on top of his now. Taking a deep breath, he began to explain.

Shikamaru had apparently taken the hint, taking over an hour to return from the corner store with the coffee creamer. By the time he was back, Gaara had spilled everything to Temari, who was now rubbing his back, right between his shoulder blades. Gaara sat hunched over next to her, shaking with a fit of pure emotion. In his entire life, he had never felt as alive as he did then, revisiting the memories of Sakura's house and seeing her at work. Shikamaru slipped in wordlessly, saw the pair, and slipped out once more after putting the creamer up.

"It sounds like you're in love, Gaara," Temari whispered, trying her best to be comforting. "Sometimes, love can hurt a lot. But I don't think you should do what she says. I don't think you should leave her alone. If you love her, let her know. You know?" Gaara had stopped shaking at this point, and was staring at Temari with a puzzled look on his face. He cocked his head to one side, searching her eyes for an answer.

"I just don't understand it. Is she better? Is she… stable? How can you even tell that sort of thing?" Gaara questioned, everything he'd wondered since their encounter in the hospital and the scathing remarks she'd delivered to him at her office pouring out of him. "Is she going to die if she doesn't get better?" Temari shook her head, patting Gaara on the knee as she rose from the couch, stretching.

"I dunno, Gaara. I guess this is one of those things that you need to figure out on your own. But I'll be here for you through it all, and Kankuro too. I think he'd be happy if you gave him a visit every so often!" Gaara nodded absentmindedly, his mind far away from anything Temari was saying. Gaara rose as well, thanking her for listening and heading for the door.

"Wait, Gaara! You forgot about the coffee and cre-" Temari called out as the door shut behind the red-head. With a sigh, the blonde girl retreated to her kitchen, wondering what she was going to do with a pot of coffee at 5:30 PM.

* * *

><p>Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long, won't bother making excuses. I hope to write some more on this and then bring it to a close! It's still got a few chapters to go, I have to work on my plan for this a bit... anyway, thanks for sticking with me this long and sorry for the delay! Love you all.<p> 


	9. Let Me In

Gaara's father was dying. The day Gaara attempted to help Sakura with her hangover, he had left early to have dinner with the tormentor of his younger years. It was a rare turn of events, seeing as he had never been allowed to eat at the table with the others before, but of course the old man wasn't giving him a peace offering. Gaara's father was forcing his position on the young man, knowing that he could at least make him miserable while he still had time left on Earth. Gaara wished that the bastard had died before he was of age, resulting in the company possibly being passed down to someone of "lower status", who would actually enjoy being company head. His father would rather hold on, though, until he was content that he'd signed Gaara off to a lifetime of managing the business. The stress had been too much for him, obviously, and he likely hoped it would be the same for Gaara.

"I can't say I wish I'd killed you," his father had said without a hint of expression. "As much as I detest you, you are the best for the company. Kankuro is too irresponsible and Temari has her own love life to worry about. You have nothing… or, rather, nothing I would care about disrupting," he had finished, his expression morphing into a momentary smirk as he savored Gaara's wince. It was beyond fucked up, how his own father had become such a blatant sadist. Gaara supposed that now that he had been deprived of his favorite punching bag, he was likely even more vengeful.

With these words- "You are to be the sole head of Sabaku Inc. on my passing" Gaara's father sealed his fate. It was a heavy blow, but after talking to both Temari and Kankuro, he knew what his father said was true. Gaara had been groomed to someday take his father's place at the throne of Sabaku Inc., and there was no one better to take the job. He had accepted, though he hadn't had much of a say in the matter to begin with.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

He was always trying to catch her off-guard. It never worked; she was always prepared, but he found some comfort in the moments between his enthusiastic reception from Kimi at the info desk and Sakura's cold greeting once he reached her cubicle. Gaara allowed himself to hope before knocking on the side of her cubicle in what he thought was a carefree way, acting as though he was only checking on her because Naruto couldn't.

Naruto had been hanging out with Hinata more and more, embracing his relationship with the shy girl with as much gusto as Sakura used to avoid Gaara. It was an interesting situation, finding himself being pushed away right when he realized just how close he wanted her. Gaara was undoubtedly in love with Sakura, but couldn't get near enough to tell her. In moments of weakness, he often wondered if he ever would. But Temari's words of encouragement stuck with him, and he realized that deserting her now would only allow her to delve further into her quest for certain self-destruction.

Gaara was certainly no romantic. He knew he could never rescue Sakura from herself using _the power of love! _or something sappy like that. It was more the idea of being her support net, resting under her to catch her when she fell. If he hung around long enough, maybe he could eventually save her. But Gaara himself was full of holes, lacking confidence and direction in his life. If he waited too long to catch her, she just might slip through these holes, never to be seen again. It was ideas like this that kept him from heading straight home after a meeting like today's, choosing instead to feel her half-hearted glares tear holes in his heart.

Gaara sighed as his knock at Sakura's cubicle entrance was answered with a grunt. He was standing in the doorway anyway, so there was no need for a "come in"- but it wouldn't have hurt. Eyes drifting in a (hopefully) casual way to the trashcan, Gaara noted the typical microwave meal, along with a banana peel and an empty jello container. _Variations on a theme_, Gaara mused. She always brought similar things. He supposed she would probably get bored with it, had she actually been eating them.

Gaara knew she wasn't eating, but he couldn't figure out why. Her behavior was beyond alien to him- he read as many books as he could on eating disorders, but still none of it made sense. His father made sure to schedule meetings for Gaara as often as possible to "acclimate" him to the business environment prior to his departure from the planet. However, Gaara spent all of his free time reading and visiting her at the office, though he made sure to only come in once or twice a week to avoid suspicion. He only stayed awhile, and never called beforehand: he hoped to catch her with an empty trashcan or with food she hadn't had a chance to "eat". It hadn't worked- in the 2 months since she'd woken up with her head on his lap, he'd only seen her at lunchtime 7 times, and each time her trashcan was filled with the remnants of her faux-lunch.

"You look busy," Gaara deadpanned. "But Naruto sends his love- and, uh, so do…" Sakura turned to face him, cutting him off.

"Sorry, I need to make a phone call. Hope you're well," she returned his grimace painfully, turning around before she could see Gaara cringe away from her. He sat in the doorway for what felt like an eternity, before the sound of her fingers clicking on the numbers of her phone brought him back to reality. Leaving without a word, Gaara shrugged off the banter directed at him from the info desk before heading towards the elevator. The taste of defeat grew more distasteful each day- he began to feel as though it was poisoning him.

It had become obvious she was avoiding him after the first week. She had yet to leave during lunch, so he was at least guaranteed a visit if he came around then; any other time was basically impossible, though. When he texted her offering a ride to work she either ignored it or said she was already there or already on the way- when he tried to wait for her after work she ran past him and called out "sorry, I'm already late!" behind her. The first few times it happened, he felt as if she was driving a dagger through his heart. But as it happened more often he allowed himself to look at her face. Each time she passed by she gave him a look as if it was _he_ who wasdeserting _her_, _she_ who was being hurt by _him_. These odd behaviors served only to strengthen his resolve, which appeared to alarm her.

It was the beginning of December now, and the weekend was approaching quickly. Gaara had gone to visit her after work every day, even though his father (who refused to die, much to Gaara's displeasure), made sure his free time was hard to come by. Sakura become more desperate each time he approached her, not bothering to make excuses as she barreled by him in the parking lot. She looked feral when her eyes fell on him, like a panicked animal trying desperately to escape a predator. He'd try to force a small smile, but they were far beyond such pleasantries. The situation had gone from bad to worse, and it almost seemed like she actually hated him now.

Today was Thursday, and he was trying to keep his cool as he stood outside the elevator she always took. Checking his watch for the fourth time since he arrived, he ran his hand through his blood red hair and pulled out his cell phone. She was 15 minutes late, something which had never happened before. Maybe he should have gone at lunch instead, at least then he could look into her half-dead eyes and know she was still somewhat alive. When she wasn't in front of him, she could be anywhere.

His mind wandered. She could be leaning over a work toilet, head swimming with regret over something she'd been forced to eat to keep suspicions away. Gaara tried to imagine Sakura's face, her protected smile the day he'd practically chased Sasuke out of her house… but could only remember her, crumpled on the kitchen floor as he panicked and ran to get hangover cures. He checked his watch again, realizing how desperate he was to see her, even if it was only a glimpse. He probably seemed like a stalker, standing outside of the elevator waiting, but he was unsure how else he could be there for her when she avoided him at all costs.

She was 20 minutes late now, and Gaara found himself trudging into the elevator and making his way to her cubicle nervously. Kimi, the info desk's usual habitant, was gone. An older woman replaced her- the night staff had already arrived.

"Mr. Sabaku," the lady bowed respectfully. "How may I help you?" Gaara blushed, unsure how to reply. He simply nodded at her and walked the agonizing steps to where he was sure Sakura would be, perhaps sitting at her desk in hopes of waiting him out. Reaching her cubicle, he was shocked to find it empty, with no remnants of the day's "meal" in the wastebin. Cocking a non-existent eyebrow, Gaara froze at the entrance. Her computer was off, and everything looked to be untouched. Puzzled, Gaara turned back around to smack directly into… Kimi.

"OhmygoshIamsosorry!" she exclaimed, leaning over to pick up her bag, which had fallen to the floor in the commotion. Looking up at the man she'd bumped into, her face became bright red. Hauling her bag over her shoulder, she laughed nervously and pulled her hair from her face. "Uh… I'm guessing you're not here to see me?"

Gaara smiled as coolly as he could, noticing she wasn't nearly as annoying as he always thought she'd been. "What are you doing here so late?" he pondered aloud, trying to get the nerve to ask a more direct question, like, _have you seen Sakura?_

"Uhm, well, like… can I be honest?" Kimi looked down to her shoes, a gesture of shyness he had never seen from the girl before. Nodding his approval, he stared curiously at her as she let out a sigh of relief. "I'm worried about Sakura! I haven't seen her all day- I totally had to cover for her this morning since she didn't even bother calling in. The other day I caught her taking the trash from my lunch and putting it in her trash, like, what the fuck? I didn't say anything 'cause I feel so bad for her; she always looks tired when she shows up in the morning, you know? She used to get so annoyed with me when I'd greet her but she doesn't even bother pretending to be upset anymore. I was actually going to do some snooping around her cubicle when I ran into… well, you."

Gaara's eyes flew open as he tried to unscramble the load of words she'd just dumped on him. Sakura hadn't been to work that day… she was losing energy… Kimi was worried, for fuck's sake. Mind going into overdrive, Gaara pushed past Kimi, leaving her with rather undignified look of surprise gracing her face. "Sorry Kimi!" he called out behind him, wondering if it would be unreasonable for him to give her a raise once he actually took over the company.

Gaara was in the parking lot before he realized what he was doing. Rushing to his car, he pulled out his phone and began calling Sakura, over and over again. He hadn't had the guts to call her before, but he was truly worried now. Her lack of response was certainly not soothing these worries. Why did she drive him so fucking crazy? _Love_, he thought bitterly, _is so overrated_.

Pulling up at Sakura's house, he noticed nostalgically that the door had not been fixed. Deciding to be polite first, he knocked. No response. Was her car in the driveway? After a quick step back, he determined that she had to be home. Sakura was inside this house, and not answering him. "Sakura?" he called out, quietly at first. Hearing no movement from within, he tried again, raising his voice louder this time. "Sakura?" he was yelling now, feeling tears well up in his eyes as he remembered the thin figured crumpled up on the kitchen floor.

He had met Sakura so many times before, had been introduced to her by Naruto more times than he could count. She had always had something missing, even when she was dating the Uchiha boy. She was incomplete, just like him, and he wanted to fix her more than he'd ever wanted something before. Sakura had sparked a curious side of him which could not go back to sleep. Gaara Sabaku, the boy who lived only for himself, was hopelessly head over heels for Sakura. He could not stop himself from breathing harder as he threw himself against the door, in hopes of breaking it down.

The door, still fragile from its previous encounter with Gaara and Naruto, gave way after a considerable amount of force. He stood in the doorway for a moment as the door swung open, barely hanging on by the hinges. He pictured her bleeding on the bathroom floor. He imagined her passed out under the fridge. He could still see her immeasurably thin arms from that day he'd gone to see her in the hospital, could still hear her fragile breathing and the feel the flutter of her frail heart in her ribcage as she laid her head on his lap to sleep.

Willing himself to move, Gaara bolted through the doorway, checking the kitchen first. Finding it empty, he proceeded to the living room, trying not to revisit the memories of the night he'd spent there. Everything appeared eerily undisturbed, just like her office. Holding his breath nervously, Gaara treaded silently to the bathroom, to which the door was ajar. He exhaled the breath he hadn't noticed he was holding as his eyes fell on the deserted room, gazing mournfully at the stack of jagged mirror shards by the sink. There was one room left, the only one he had not seen before.

Approaching what had to be her bedroom, he noted the door was closed. Gaara put his ear to the door before knocking gently and calling her name. "Hey, Sakura? It's me… Gaara. Are you okay?" Imagine if she was only sleeping, and he was pathetically searching her house on some partially-justified whim; how could he ever face her again?

"Get out," came a weak voice from beyond the door. "I'm okay. Please leave. I'm going… to call the p... the police," her voice faltered. Gaara leapt back from the door as if it had bitten him. Was he truly in the wrong here? Why did she sound so weak? There was no way in hell he was going to leave. So what if she called the fucking cops? At least they might be able to help more than he'd been able to.

"Sakura," his voice was shaking, but not nearly as much as hers. "I'm coming in."

* * *

><p>Ah, another chapter comes to an end. I actually had this all written out a few days ago but I didn't get a chance to proofread it until now. If everything goes according to plan, I'm looking at 2 more chapters and maaybe an epilogue. But we'll see! Work sucked today, but editing this and getting to post it cheered me up some. Hope you're all having a great week! Thanks for the reviews, and as always... see you next update. :)<p> 


	10. We'll Just Have to Adjust

Sakura can feel herself growing weaker as the days stretch into winter. She recalls that she used to get out of bed with ease, waking up early to sip tea and greet the sunrise, though now she must drag herself to get dressed and head out the door. The routine has settled in, bringing her from the frigid opening of each day to the painful end, staring at the ceiling and pretending she cannot hear her stomach growl.

Whenever she sees Gaara, her heart sinks. _Not again,_ she tells herself, _don't lie this time_. Just as she is convinced that she will say hello to him and tell him how she feels and how she knows she isn't the same as she once was, she stops. A voice inside her speaks up unpredictably, nastily, telling him that she is _busy_. She is permanently busy. Sakura is cast aside- the voice takes control. She feels betrayed by her own body as she silently watches Gaara retreat, a haunted look in his pale green eyes.

Her days are completely empty without him, now. She feels cold constantly, finds herself piling on more and more layers just to keep from shaking. She is disappearing into her clothes, wondering if they are getting larger or if perhaps, impossibly, finally, she is growing smaller. She's rather lonely, with only her anger and her hunger to keep her company. The voice controls her steadily more and more each day- she eats less, her resolve is no longer as weak. She has found strength, months into her isolation.

If only it wasn't so difficult to focus on work with her new-found strength. She is hungry all the time, hyper-aware of the gurgles of her empty stomach and the sound of her own shallow breathing. Time becomes an enemy, moving slowly, stretching infinitely as though it were a viscous liquid, slowly but surely encapsulating her as she counts the hours until she can go home and sleep. Sleep is her ally in the battle against time, her weapon against the monotony of hunger. Yet no matter how long she sleeps, she is just as exhausted when she wakes as when she first got into bed.

As she rises that morning, something is not quite right. It has been a long time since she felt that anything was right, but this morning in particular is bad. She has not eaten in 2 days and 19 hours, her last failure being a single cookie which Kimi had watched her (forced her to) consume. It had made her senses explode, awakening the hunger within her which had lied dormant before. Insurmountable hunger overtook her as she clutched her stomach and attempted to summon the will to leave her bed.

Sakura wondered if she was dying. It would be appropriate for her to die, she thought, as she had never felt more worthless than at that moment. Having fucked up everything in her life thus far, it felt acceptable to stop. Breathing was a burden; to simply stop was the obvious response. Sakura embraced the thought of death, accepted it, and closed her eyes. She wondered if she was dying- or perhaps, she wished it to be true.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The roof of a car. Fade out. Back in- commotion, noise, blurred colors, a phone ringing? chaos erupting from all corners of the earth. Fade out. Coming back into consciousness: dim lights, a cold, cold room. Fade out. Hospital smell._ I don't want to be here again. I feel sick. I need to escape. I can't get out of here. I can't open my eyes. I can't open my mouth. Why am I so tired? I can't move. I can't._

"That was quite a close call, you know," a familiar feminine voice was saying. "I wouldn't have let her leave in the first place if it was up to me, but of course it's not. You can't tell a grown woman what to do with her life, at least not unless she wants you to. It's a good thing she had a friend like you to look out for her."

"But is it enough?" Gaara was speaking; she could hear his voice clearer than anything. Above the background noise of machines whirring and some sort of slow beeping, it was uniquely _him. _The thought sent a shiver down her spine, and she wished so dearly that she could move, that she could hide herself. "Will she really be okay?" His voice was low, a tone one adopts when they want to discuss serious matters without attracting the attention of others.

"That's for her to decide, I'm afraid," the familiar voice replied. Annie? Anna? Ami. Of course it would be Ami, standing a few feet away from her, talking as though she was not in the room. Was she in the room? It was impossible to tell; her eyelids were far too heavy to lift. It was quite possible that she was floating above the pair right now, their voices rising to meet her as she struggled to communicate with them. Silence hung in the air until she heard a small sigh accompanied by the sound of one pair of padded footsteps retreating.

Forcing herself to at least open her eyes, Sakura squinted against the harsh lighting surrounding her. A sharp intake of breath- she attempted to follow the sound, located a few feet to her right, slowly and painstakingly. Her entire body was sore, though she struggled regardless to lift her body up using her frail arms as support.

A warm hand fell on her shoulder, causing her to tense up instinctively. A slight wavering in the hand's confidence- his fingers curled back slightly as Sakura moved her neck to face Gaara. He seemed to be afraid of her, and she realized for the first time that her shoulder blades looked rather menacing in the hospital gown. Of course it would be unflattering. No one had seen her body for months; of course he would be a little surprised. Sakura attempted a smile which caused his hand to relax, though his fingers stayed ghosting the tip of her shoulder blade. Truly looking at him for the first time in what felt like an eternity, she noticed the bags under his eyes and his paler complexion.

"You look like shit," she croaked, her voice keeping a friendly tone. She laughed a rich laugh, a sincere laugh, one she felt from the pit of her stomach upwards. He smiled morosely, and his hand drifted to the side of her face. She twitched for a second, her body's immediate response being to recoil. But she stayed there, feeling the warmth of his fingertips spread from her cheek to her whole face until a more genuine smile graced his lips.

"You do too," he replied, looking down at her weak figure with overwhelming compassion written on his face. "But at least you're alive. You know, you…" he was looking away now, moving his hand from her face to his side. "You've always been beautiful."

Sakura fell silent at this remark, unprepared for him to be so raw and emotional. Anticipating a repeat of Naruto's emotional hospital visit, Sakura attempted to change the subject. "So you've met Ami?" She was unsure just how long they'd been speaking before she drifted into consciousness for the final time that day, but they seemed to be pretty friendly with each other from the way they were speaking… about her, of all things.

Gaara turned to face her, surprised that she had been awake for at least part of their conversation. His face slightly pink, Gaara replaced the look of shock with a guarded smile. "Yeah, I just met her and she warmed right up to me. Seems to think I'm a great guy. If only everyone else thought so…" he left off, passive-aggressively referencing her behavior as of late.

Sakura smiled sheepishly, trying to keep their banter from descending into an argument. "I think you're a great guy. That's why I… Hey, let's not talk about it for now, okay?" Gaara nodded, sliding his hand through his untamed red hair. He gestured that he was going to head out and left without saying another word. Watching him leave, Sakura allowed herself to exhale deeply. After hearing Ami and Gaara's conversation, and waking up in a hospital room for the second time this year, she had begun to wonder if something was very seriously wrong with her.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Gaara's hands were unsteady as his fingers entered the number into his phone, unsure of how the voice on the other line would sound, much less how they would react to the news he'd been tasked with delivering. He had yet to meet her parents, so he couldn't even put a face to a name as he heard ringing on the other line.

"Haruno residence," came a stern, male voice from the opposite end. "May I ask who is calling?"

"My name is Gaara, sir," he replied nervously, leaving out his last name to avoid drawing attention to himself rather than the matter at hand. "I'm an acquaintance," he forced himself to say, reminding himself that she had been avoiding him for the past few months and likely would hesitate to even call him that, "of your daughter, Sakura, and right now she-"

"Sakura who?" the voice, presumably Sakura's father, barked into the phone.

"Sakura Haruno… your daughter?" Gaara replied meekly, rechecking the numbers he dialed to ensure he hadn't gotten the wrong Haruno.

"I have no daughter," the man replied coolly before ending the call. Having not had a chance to explain himself, Gaara immediately called back, only to receive an answering machine. Closing his phone slowly, Gaara let out an exasperate sigh and headed back into the hospital. "This is so fucked up," he said to himself more than anyone.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Ami walked in immediately after Gaara left the room, which Sakura had grown to expect in the short time they'd known each other. Ami looked at her expectantly. "He is a handsome man. I can't help myself," she joked lightheartedly rather than addressing the situation at hand. Sakura chuckled, then grew quiet, ensuring the words she was about to say were the ones she truly meant.

"Ami," she began quietly, then forced herself to speak more confidently. "Ami, I want to go to a clinic. I want to get better."

* * *

><p>Senior year is killing me! Sorry for the long wait. One chapter left! Let's hope it doesn't take however many months as this one did.<p>

I originally had Gaara and Naruto waiting at the hospital to encourage her to get help, but I wanted to emphasize the fact that recovery is a personal choice, and while some people may have others help them on their journey, you must ultimately decide yourself whether you want to get better or not.


	11. Not Alone in Anything

**Gaara**

The bustle of the Saturday afternoon crowd greets me as I enter at 2 PM on the dot, as usual. It's been three months now that I've been allowed to visit, and four months since Sakura first entered these doors all by herself. She's been doing pretty well and I make a point of always arriving during visiting hours, every Saturday from 2 to 6. It's usually hectic at the beginning, with everyone rushing in to be there with their son, daughter, spouse, or whomever they've entrusted to the care of the rehabilitation center. The crowd begins to thin around 4 or 5, with most people headed home to carry on with their lives, or what's left of them without their loved ones. I tend to stick around until 6, which means I get to see Sakura right before she heads off for dinner. That's when you can see the real change in her: the once-typical look of dread is no longer there, more a look of disappointment as we must part for the week. Or at least that's how she describes it, having gradually allowed me to enter her thoughts since she began her healing process.

I wasn't allowed to visit the first month, in order to let her get situated. Some people can get visitors in the first few weeks, she informed me, while others have been here for months and still aren't allowed any. It's all about adjusting to the environment, which is different for everyone. I've learned more about eating disorders and the rehabilitation system in the past three months than I'd ever learned through my own research while Sakura was avoiding me. We're allowed to write the guests (that's what they're called, as an indiscreet euphemism for patients) as many letters as we want, and they can write back as well. I write her during the week sometimes, which is an interesting experience for me since I've never had anyone to write to before. The only letters I would receive were junk mail, which gets pretty tiring after a while. I once contemplated going unlisted, just to keep all that shit away from my mailbox. But of course there are bills to be paid, and now I'm glad that I didn't do it since Sakura writes me several times a week.

She'd begun writing more often as time passes- she gets bored, and there are many interesting stories to share with me. Things you wouldn't believe happen when a bunch of "crazy people", as she endearingly refers to herself and the other guests, are all put together in one facility. _Dear Gaara, today another girl with anorexia escaped! They sent nurses out after her, and she actually got caught over 2 miles away. It's weird, because she's definitely frailer than I am, and sometimes I can't even convince myself to get out of bed. I guess desperate people will do anything._ Or another, _Gaara- our goldfish died today. I'd named him Stupid, since I was a little bitter when I first came here. But I can't help feeling bad now. We held a funeral. A fish funeral, can you believe it?_ It seemed Sakura was having more fun in recovery than I, who was doing "just fine", was.

There are some restrictions on the letters: she isn't allowed to talk about how much she hates it there, and there is to be no mention of food. I learned these rules only after I begun visiting her and learned of the letter option. I'd wondered aloud why she hadn't been writing and as it turns out every letter she'd written me had included both of these "unmentionables", and had been given back to her to fix. Which she hadn't. Which is why she wasn't allowed visitors for the first month, I'm guessing. Once she seemed to be in the process of recovering rather than simply rebelling for the sake of it, her letters came 2 or 3 times a week.

Each story she told me was endearing in its honesty. The letters were our chance to speak candidly- when we met on Saturdays, she often wanted to sit around and watch TV or something brainless together. She wanted to be near each other, to soak in each other's presence, and not do much talking. So we talked in the letters, and she sure had a lot to say. She told me everything about her past, about how she'd been obsessed with eating since she was a child. Eating disorders, she said, don't simply start overnight. Hers was the result of years of an unhealthy obsession, which turned into a fear of food and a fear of her own body. One of the first things they had her do once she started therapy was separate her disorder from herself. Before going into treatment, Sakura had never acknowledged that she had an eating disorder. It was still hard for her, all these months later, to call it that. It was a process. But separating it out helped- the ED patients were to give their disorder a name, and acknowledge it as an entirely different entity. She was no longer just Sakura- she had two different people inhabiting her body, both Sakura and her disorder "S". S was pure evil, and the target of her months of therapy.

She also talked to me about later on in life, about Sasuke and herself. It pissed me off to read it: why would I want to hear about the asshole who fucked up her life so bad in the first place? But it was a learning experience nonetheless, and my curiosity triumphed over my inexplicable pigheadedness eventually. I wrote to her about the strange phone call I'd had with the man I believed to be her father, who had denied her very existence. Her reply came later than normal, with very deliberate handwriting, as though she had spent a long time trying to explain the situation until she was satisfied. Apparently she'd been disowned, something that would have been very familiar to me had my dad been less of a sadistic bastard. Her parents knew Sasuke was no good, but she hadn't given a shit. It was love, or some twisted version of it, and when she'd moved in with him to become what amounted to a caretaker (though she didn't know it at the time), they'd said their final goodbyes. Sakura wrote that she hoped for reconciliation but wasn't sure what her dad would say. Her mom had been pretty broken up about the whole ordeal, but her father had always been a hardass. Tell me about it. I talked to him on the damn phone. But if she wanted to make up, I'd be there for her. I told her so, and she said she was relieved. She'd made a lot of bad decisions in her life, but she was ready to start making the right ones. If there was anything being in therapy taught her, it was that she could move past all the fuckups and make something of her life. She decided she wanted to go into the rehabilitation career herself, after talking with the staff there. It was a long road to a hard job with low pay, but it would be worth it, she said. And I believed her.

I shared some of my past too, about my father's mistreatment and how I swore to only rely on myself. It was embarrassing at first, because I still felt stuck in those stages of my life sometimes. Around my father, who came back into my life to boss me around once again and finally died last month, I was a piece of shit little kid who could never do anything right. Around Temari, who helped me figure out how to deal with Sakura's treatment and the rough patch when I couldn't talk to her at all, I was a weakling who cried too often and didn't do anything about it. Around Kankuro, who stepped in to lead the company after my father died, pretending to be claiming it as the pompous first son who desired it all along, I felt insignificant and distant, riding on the coattails of my wiser, more mature brother. But with Sakura, I was always just Gaara. I was a grown man who had thoughts and feelings, who could finally express my love for the girl I had begun to care for without realizing it those many months ago. I told her all these things and more in my letters. Nothing seemed too small to tell Sakura- by the time I stood there in front of her that cloudy Saturday in late March, we knew each other's whole life stories front to back.

As I walked into the clinic, I felt a smile creep up my face. Today was special, and she may or may not have even remembered. I would be the one to remind her, to watch her face light up with unspoken joy. Last year hadn't been so great but I was certain this year would be better, because we'd be together. Everything is much easier when you have someone to share the burden with- just ask Temari and Shikamaru, my inspiration for this particular afternoon's sappy excitement.

The visiting room is painted bright yellow, which is supposed to be cheerful. It mostly looks like piss, a thought I tried to keep to myself but couldn't help telling Sakura. She laughed as though I wasn't being immature, with that beautiful, real smile I had fallen in love with. I caught sight of the smile again that Saturday, and made an immediate beeline for her. We hugged briefly, her breaking away because she had big news and me because I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to hug her in the visiting room. It would probably set a bad example.

"So," we both began at once, and then stuttered for a moment before I conceded and quieted down to let Sakura speak. "You're not going to believe this... actually, I've known about it for a little while but I wanted to stay quiet because I thought it would be more exciting." She was killing me. I looked at her pleadingly, wondering what could be so important as to trump _my_ news. "I was right, huh? You're really interested now, aren't you? Gosh, sorry, I'll stop. It's just... I'm being released next week!" My mouth flew open without my control, and I was hugging her again in the corner of that room, next to some sort of plant with big green leaves that may or may not have been fake. Not caring about the rules, we held each other for a solid minute, neither of us having words until she broke the silence. "It sort of sounds like I'm a prisoner, right?" We separated then, both laughing happily with the hint of a blush gracing our faces.

"Do you feel ready?" I asked, sitting down next to her on a blue couch with plastic covers. She nodded, and looked at me with a grin. I reciprocated, feeling no need for her to explain herself. You could tell just by looking at her that she was ready to move on with her life. "It won't be easy," I warned, though I knew I was just preaching to the choir. She nodded again, and then stretched out her arms indifferently.

"What was it you were going to say earlier, anyway?" she asked casually, though I could tell from her blatant overacting that she was intrigued. Remembering the sappy plan courtesy my sister and her lover, it was my turn to grin. I motioned over one of the nurses who were on watch in the room, who I had spoken to earlier. She winked at me knowingly and ran off for a moment. Returning quickly, she produced a bunch of cherry blossoms from behind her back. Handing it to me, I placed it in Sakura's hand and smiled sheepishly.

"I was going to bring a rose," I said shyly, "but they wouldn't allow it because of the thorns." Sakura laughed at this, though there was really nothing funny about it. I think maybe she was just happy, something I'd also been seeing in myself a lot recently. "So, aren't you going to ask?"

"Alright, you got me. What is this for? Did you already know I was getting out?" she asked suspiciously. The nurse next to her guffawed rather loudly at that.

"'Getting out'? Is that what you're calling it? What are you, an inmate?" we both joined in her laughter, and it was only then that I realized we were drawing the attention of everyone in the room. It had been a while since the room was so lively- though many people came to visit, their conversations were usually tense or calm at the very least.

"Sakura, you idiot," I finally replied, after letting her suffer a while longer. "Today is your birthday!" Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth, which I expected. Everything was going according to plan- next she would throw herself around me, thanking me for the thoughtful gift. Except not. Instead, I saw tears begin to fill her eyes, and felt my eyes widen.

"I'm sorry," she sighed while wiping them away. "I'm really, really happy. I don't think I've ever cried from happiness before." She was gorgeous in that moment, the most beautiful thing I'd ever set eyes on. Her jade green eyes shone with admiration as she looked at me appreciatively. I couldn't help it- my body took over. Leaning over, I gingerly grabbed her arm and pulled her into a kiss. She leaned into me, returning my affection in full.

Pulling back after a few seconds, I looked straight at her. Her face was flushed, and she was looking away from me nervously. Brimming with newfound confidence, I brought my hand up to her face and directed it towards me. With hands no longer shaking I guided her gaze in my direction. Once her eyes were on me, I winked- "Today's a day of firsts, I guess."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

**Sakura**

"You ready?" Naruto was asking me, the sixth person to ask that day. I nodded wordlessly, feeling a little unprepared but not wanting to show it. The fact that I was here now meant that everyone trusted me on my own. I was equipped with the tools I needed to lead a normal life. I made a lot of new friends while I was here, but I was ready to go back to the old ones. We'd keep in touch, of course- hopefully for quite some time. The nurses encouraged it, since having a support group that understands is a key part of recovery. And yeah, I do mean recovery, since I'm not quite done with that part yet.

Even though they're releasing me, I am not through working through everything. All this means is that I can start to do it on my own, or at least without the help of paid professionals. The thing about eating disorders that I've come to understand is recovery is a very long and drawn out process that may never really end. Some of the nurses there had spent some time in a facility like this one themselves, and were eager to share their knowledge and advice with us lunatics. Apparently the feeling may never go away. Sometimes, they'll still feel that familiar revulsion with their bodies, and they'll want to take the easy way out and start to relapse. But they have the strength to say no, and take comfort in the fact that there are other options. It felt like I had nowhere else to turn before, because I was useless and not worth the effort of truly improving myself.

But now I know I am not alone in this, which is enough support in itself. The therapy was just an added bonus. One might think it would be a bad idea to put a bunch of nutjobs with eating disorders all in one place- but it worked. It worked surprisingly well, in fact, exceeding my expectations. I learned all sorts of things I hadn't know before. There are many different types of eating disorders, and people reach them in hundreds of ways. A boy I met had gotten the flu when he was 12 and had been unable to eat without vomiting for weeks. Once he recovered, he developed a fear of food that had yet to leave him, causing him to go as long as he could without eating. A friendly housewife type had become one of my closest companions, whom I met shortly after moving in. She had been sexually abused as a child, and had repressed the memory for a decade and a half. The abuse had manifested itself as mental health problems and she began to feel hungry all the time. She ate constantly, binging without giving a shit about her body. She feared people seeing what she had become and stopped going outside. Her anxiety ate her alive, and she finally checked in of her own accord after her concerned ex-husband came to visit and discovered what she'd become.

I'm not the only one with a sad story. I learned a lot about Gaara while I was apart from him (interestingly enough). Once I worked through some of the worst parts of my behavior, I was able to see him as an ally rather than an enemy. Gaara has been in this with me from the very beginning, and I think he plans to see it through until the end.

Naruto was tugging at my sleeve as I filled out more paperwork- it seemed to never stop. I shared this thought with the man at the front desk, who chuckled and said I should get used to it if I planned to be in any sort of medical profession. Pretty much everyone knew me and my dream at this point- I wasn't exactly quiet about it. What better place to learn about nursing than talking to real nurses and the staff around them? Before, it seemed as though my dream was far beyond my reach. But now, I felt as if I was only getting started. The path would be long and hard but I was prepared to kick its ass.

Sighing softly, I waved goodbye to the front desk staff, having already said my goodbyes to my other friends. I turned to Naruto and gave a small smile which he returned with a massive grin. "It's good to have you back!" he shouted, before pulling me into a bear hug. I started to pull him off me embarrassedly but stopped myself and returned the hug, patting him on the back lightly.

"It's good to be back," I whispered into his shoulder. Naruto released me, looked me over, and grinned again. I'd gained some weight while in treatment, so I felt pretty self-conscious about people seeing me. But it didn't hurt like it did before. I didn't worry about whether he was judging me- instead, I forced myself to relax and walk away. Naruto trailed behind me, jamming his hand in his pockets looking for his car keys. We walked in silence to his beat-up car, which was an incredibly welcome sight after months of nothing but the indoors. I was approaching the front door when both of the back doors popped open. From the driver's side emerged Gaara, looking pretty overwhelmed with excitement yet still more reserved than Naruto. From the other door came Hinata and a girl with blonde hair who I didn't know. She immediately walked up to me with Hinata trailing behind shyly.

"My name is Temari. I'm Gaara's sister... thanks for putting up with him for so long. Someone fucking has to, right?" she announced candidly, directing a smile towards me. She could likely tell I felt nervous, and did a pretty good job at breaking the tension. Her outstretched hand beckoned to me, and when I went in for a handshake she pulled me towards her into a big hug. Though shocking, it was an incredibly thoughtful gesture. Temari seemed to be a pretty great sibling, which matched well enough with what I'd heard from Gaara.

Naruto brushed past Hinata, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he headed to start up his car. Hinata realized it was her turn to speak, and froze for a moment before running up and hugging me. "We haven't talked in a long time, you know. I'm really sorry! I guess having Naruto as a boyfriend is actually a full-time job. Let's hang out sometime soon, though. Ramen or something?" she asked sheepishly. I raised an eyebrow. It seemed Naruto had really begun to affect her, if the first thing that came to her mind when hanging out was ramen. She blushed, as though she could read my mind, and put her head down. "Or whatever you want! Just an idea!" before scurrying off back to the car, with Temari close behind.

This left Gaara and me outside alone. He put his hands in his pockets and walked a little farther away, out of the car's line of vision. Once he was a few cars down and likely certain Naruto couldn't see him, he gestured to me. I followed him slowly, my heart racing as I drew nearer to his lone figure. I was about a foot from him when he grew impatient and bridged the gap between us, pulling my body into his in one solid movement. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he whispered "It's good to have you back." I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent that was purely Gaara's. It was good to be back. But I didn't need to say it for him to know. I'm sure he could see it on my face as he pulled back and looked at me, his hands grasping onto mine.

We trudged the short distance back to the car, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I remembered my surroundings. But when I got back and sat down in the front passenger seat, no one seemed to have noticed we had disappeared for a short while. Or at least they were pretending not to. I wondered what sort of matchmaking the three other occupants of the car had dreamt up for this night, and couldn't stop my hand from reaching up to feel the warmth he'd left on my neck.

As we drove back, Temari and Hinata talked about hair products while Naruto and Gaara argued about food. It was an interesting contrast to my life just days before- I felt free. It's not to say I resented my time in the clinic; it was necessary for my personal growth. I owe the staff there my life (literally). But being packed into Naruto's shitty car with all of the people I could care about felt like heaven compared to the past four months of my life.

When we reached my apartment, everyone waved goodbye. There weren't any lights on, which was a relief since I wasn't even sure my apartment would still be mine when I returned. But it was uninhabited, and none of my stuff had been moved. I later found out that my father had been paying the rent for me, something that at first shocked me and later made me both very happy and sad. More surprises awaited me as I got out my key. The door had been fixed (courtesy of Gaara and Naruto). As I entered the building, I threw my small bag of belongings on the couch and turned on the light. Everything was the way it had been before. Nothing had changed, except me.

I walked to the bathroom to get a better look at myself, forgetting completely that there was not a functioning mirror in there. Except there was- someone had thrown away the shards of the old mirror and replaced it with a new one. The theatrics were impressive- the mirror was surrounded by lights, like a Hollywood studio mirror. I was almost entirely sure that Naruto was the only one who would think up something so cheesy yet adorable- until I noticed the roses.

He'd said before that he would have brought me roses but the rules were too strict. I thought he'd been joking, but I guess I was wrong. There was a gorgeous little vase sitting next to my bathroom sink, with two roses inside of it and a little bit of water. Underneath the vase was a small note, which I may have overlooked had I not been expecting one. I extracted the note carefully, trying not to upset the water in the vase. The note had only three little words, predictable and overused yet extremely endearing. I held the note to my heart and felt tears at the corner of my eyes, but a knock at the door stopped me from getting too emotional. Confused, I ran to open the door and was greeted with a flash of red hair. Gaara was panting, and sat there for a moment doubled-over and gathering his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he gasped dramatically. "I wanted to say it in person. A fucking note just isn't enough," he explained to me. I looked at him, my vocal chords refusing to work. My mouth hung slightly open, and I felt the note fall from my hands as he looked down to meet my gaze. "I love you, Sakura."

"I love you too," was the only reply I could give before our lips met and everything seemed to fall into place.

* * *

><p>And with that, the story draws to a close. I was undecided about whether or not I should do an epilogue, but for now I am leaving it as this... draw your own conclusions about the aftermath. :) I wanted to get this in tonight (granted it is 11:56 PM here now), although my tentative goal had been before my 18th birthday (November 28! yay!). I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. However, whenif I write on here again, I think I'll stick to one shots . 

Thanks to everyone who commented, favorited, etc. etc. You all rock!


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